Archive for the ‘furry’ category

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DirecTV’s Giant Panda

August 22, 2011

 – – DirecTV has a new commercial featuring Vietnamese comedian Dat Phan, who plays a character called “Whale,” so named because he’s a “big boy in the casino.”  Everything that Whale does is “crazy big,” so he hangs out with tall caucasian models and a huge panda called Coco, who eats a bamboo stick while Whale watches Rango on television!

…the commercial, however, has been found offensive by some in the Asian American community due to its playing off Asian stereotypes such as Dat Phan’s forced accent and short stature, a giant Koi fish, and the enormous panda who eats bamboo.  DirecTV had earlier reaped ire for a commercial which played off black stereotypes…

…as for me, I’d love to sit with a gigantic panda and watch animation!


Categories: absurdities, furry, television
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Allstate’s “Raccoon Mayhem” Rocks!

August 19, 2011

 – – The Allstate “Mayhem” guy (Dean Winters) in this commercial is representing a raccoon, and every expense has been spared in his raccoon impersonation;  he’s clearly human, he’s wearing a suit, and the only nod to his status as a raccoon are dark circles around his eyes!  You could make yourself look more like a raccoon with a little construction paper…

The acting, however, is another matter; the Mayhem man says, “I’m a raccoon, and this time in your attic has been the best week of my raccoon life!”  He then proceeds to jubilantly demonstrate the things that raccoons can do in an attic, like playing havoc with the electrical wiring, throwing around the insulation, scratching the rafters,  and chewing a hole in the roof, through which we are shown Winters as ‘coon protruding.  “I’m the smartest raccoon I know!,” brags Winters in character, adding that he’s already had “like four babies.”  When Winters walks away from the house at the end of the commercial, he looks like Heath Ledger’s Joker in The Dark Knight walking away from the hospital before it blows…this should further solidify the raccoon rep as bad boys of the furry community!

The dark humor of Raccoon Mayhem is little less than brilliant!

Categories: animals, anthropomorphic, Brilliant but twisted, furry, television
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Comments: 3 Comments

Fugitive Cow…

August 17, 2011

 – – I’ve always felt empathy for fugitive cows, those bovines that feel the bloodline of the aurochs stir in them, and so do not go quietly to the slaughter… 

…and so to Yvonne, the six-year-old German cow, I say, You go, girl!  No milk dud, Yvonne escaped in May from a farm in Muehldorf, Germany where she was being prepared for the slaughter.  She made a new home for herself in the Bavarian woods, gaining the notice of authorities when Yvonne jumped in front of German police cars.  Deemed a traffic threat, hunters were then authorized to shoot the cow, which outraged animal rights activists.  An Austrian animal protection group then either offered or has already bought Yvonne from her original farm for 700 euros. 

While receiving much attention, Yvonne remained on the lam, prompting efforts to lure her in by sending bovine family members and friends into the wild.  A bull was even brought in by animal rights activists in an effort to romance the cow, but the bull turned out to be castrated, and Yvonne wasn’t fooled by this flimsy deception.  Things got weirder still when an animal psychic was consulted by the animal rights activists.  The psychic reported having contacted the cow by telepathy, saying that Yvonne was fine but didn’t feel ready to come out of hiding, fearing that the humans would lock her up and that she’d lose her freedom!

Meanwhile, the Hindu community recently issued a statement calling for German authorities to withdraw permission for hunters to shoot Yvonne, saying that the decision was ill-advised.  A German newspaper has also created a Facebook page, and offered a reward of over $14,000 to anyone who can capture Yvonne…

…my sympathies are on the side of the cow on the run, who has probably connected with the underground and awaits the furry revolution…long life and good fortune to you, counter-culture bovine!- -Fight the power, Yvonne!

Categories: animal rights, animals, furry, furry causes, furry heroes, strange happenings
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Comments: 3 Comments

The Cat Rules!

August 8, 2011

 – – I freely confess that I’ve always been a big fan of Dr. Seuss and his creations, having the stuff read to me and then reading it as a child, and later reading it aloud to younger family members as they were growing up.  Dr. Seuss was light years ahead of his time, coming up with marvelously surreal creatures and plots in painfully strait-laced times.  I credit Dr. Seuss and his works with strongly influencing my generally twisted take on life.

My fave Seuss character not surprisingly is the Cat in the Hat.  The Cat is kind of the kingpin of the Seuss empire, it’s heart and soul, a spirit of gleeful anarchy in a Republican world…yes, the Cat is all that!  The Cat could create joyful mayhem, but not to worry, he always made it right at the end!  And who didn’t envy the Cat’s vehicle, the Thinga-ma-jigger, a device which could sprout disturbing arm appendages, wings, pontoons, rocket boosters, and even change size!  Alright, the styling was bizarre, but I wanted this kind of chariot more than I wanted a Jetson flying car!  Thing One and Thing Two could be called on to execute the heavy-duty devastation, and then there was that marvelous anthropomorphic fish in a bowl, the lone voice of reason and caution in this mad world!  There wasn’t a fish of this caliber until Klaus Heissler the goldfish in American Dad.  Like Klaus, the Seuss fish seems alright breathing air so long as at least one small part of his body is in water.

 

Like the Cat, many Seuss characters were anthropomorphic furries that kind of led clueless humans around by the nose…and I’m glad that the Cat has a PBS series on called, The Cat in the Hat Knows a Lot About That!  The Cat is voiced by Martin Short, and continues to be utterly awesome…and yes, I’ve been known to steal a look at the show!

Categories: absurdities, anthropomorphic, Brilliant but twisted, cartoons, furry, television
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Hail, Caesar!

July 24, 2011

 – – Caesar’s back, and he’s dark and seriously miffed…Caesar of the Planet of the Apes franchise, that is!  It’s been a long time since the original 1968 Charlton Heston Apes movie introduced us to what was then revolutionary special effects make-up  and the delights of Roddy McDowall as chimpanzee archaeologist Cornelius; he would later play Cornelius’ son, Caesar, in Conquest of the Planet of the Apes, and later in Battle for the Planet of the Apes.  McDowall characteristically spent close to four hours in the make-up chair for each chimpanzee transformation.  Despite wearing heavy ape prosthetic appliances, McDowall was able to effectively emote his character’s personality by exaggerating his facial expressions.

In the new Rise of the Planet of the Apes movie headed your way in August, a scientist is experimenting on a chimpanzee named Caesar to develop a cure for Alzheimer’s Disease.  Caesar’s intelligence is greatly enhanced by the experiments, and well…you know the rest.  The CGI apes have amazingly intelligent-looking eyes, but it remains to be seen whether this new Apes movie will be more fun than a barrel of monkeys or will simply drive you bananas…

Categories: animals, anthropomorphic, furry, furry film classics, furry heroes, movies
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DQ’s “Rock ‘N’ Roll Falcon

July 8, 2011

 – – Falcons seem to be going through a surge in commercial popularity, and Dairy Queen has also come to realize that animal spokesmen sell.  They’ve then given us an all too brief glimpse of one of the most awesome birds yet to be seen on television,  the Rock ‘N’ Roll Falcon!  This is one bird who knows how to do wing gestures, and who also talks the talk; “It’s good to be back in Boston, YEEAAH!”  If used as a front man, this falcon could guarantee that a band’s album would go platinum!

Dairy Queen had earlier given us such things as kittens floating in bubbles as well…

Categories: animals, cool things, feathered friends, furry, furry commercials, television
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The Keyboard Cat!

June 19, 2011

 – – Cats on keyboards are nothing new with the original video coming from the early 1980’s, but this incarnation of Keyboard Cat, also known as Pistachio Cat, is awfully cute!  Wearing an oversized lime green T-shirt and playing a bouncy little number on the keyboard while promoting pistachio consumption, this cat is likely to win your heart.- -So what if the cat appears mad at times and is being controlled by human hands hidden under the baggy shirt?- -It’s no wonder that as it was sung in The Aristocats, “everybody wants to be a cat!”


By the way, the current Keyboard Cat’s name is Bento, and he is the creation of Charlie Schmidt…

Categories: animals, Brilliant but twisted, furry, furry commercials, humor, television
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Necomimi; Brainwave-Controlled Cat Ears!

June 17, 2011

 – – Japan has done it again!  You may know that there are brainwave-controlled wheelchairs, so why not brainwave-controlled cat ears?  The devices by the electronics company Neurowear, dubbed Necomimi, stand up when the wearer concentrates or sees something interesting.  When you relax, your decreasing brain activity makes the ears fall down.- –I swear I am not making this up!

I wish that they had made the ears more realistic, and that a fox model was available!  I don’t know what would happen if you strapped the ears onto an actual cat.  Still, the idea keys into the notion of an augmented human body, and possibly a tail will follow that responds to brain waves; this may be furry of the future…

Categories: Brilliant but twisted, cool things, furry
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– -These Rats ROCK!!!

June 15, 2011

 – – Remember the giant talking ants in earlier Orkin commercials?- -Well, no rat finks these, the latest Orkin commercial features a duo of really rad anthropoid rats playing hot licks on guitars in the living room of a nice suburban home that the family of four in residence comes home to unexpectedly.–Alright, the rats are a bit on the scruffy side and they’ve made a little mess on the floor, but damn, these rodents ROCK!!!- -Think Stephen King meets Jimi Henrix!

The one rat looks positively evil when he chides the family for coming home early, but hey, did you want Justin Bieber?- -These rats have got what it takes, and they know how to use it!  They even offer the boy in the family a gig playing drums for them!- –Take it, you fools, don’t you know a gift when you see it?! – –I’ll play drums for them if the kid doesn’t want it, we’d RULE!!!  (I can see it now…Foxy and the Vermin, Live In Concert!)

When the rats are driven out by the Orkin man (imagines voice of Stewie from Family Guy, “Damn you, Orkin man!”), they even split in a totally cool rat rod!  Don’t drive these rats out, suburban white bread family!- – Sign them to a contract…FAST!!!- –These boys have a future! 


Categories: absurdities, animals, anthropomorphic, Brilliant but twisted, furry, television
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Mountain Lions in Connecticut!

June 14, 2011

 – – Mountain lions are said not to exist in Connecticut.  The problem is, however, mountain lions don’t read, and nobody thought to tell them; they just don’t appreciate that the nearest confirmed population of their kind is in Missouri.  As if to reinforce to one mountain lion that he was extinct, an SUV plowed into one on the Wilbur Cross Parkway earlier this month.

Now where do non-indigenous species come from?  Most likely, a rather lively trade in wild animals that is fueled by the internet.  While some states have laws prohibiting private ownership of non-native animals such as big cats, bears, wolves, and chimpanzees other states do not…and this patchwork quilt of different laws from state to state allows the irresponsible to travel to nearby states to make exotic animal purchases.  Sadly, illegal trafficking in exotic animals is a global business worth up to $20 billion annually.   A lot of the local exotic animal trade is fed by zoo or circus surplus,  the descendents of those animals, or from breeders. 

The eastern mountain lion slain may have been held in captivity, and either escaped or was released.  Irresponsible human behaviors continue to claim animal victims in this manner…

(…tip o’ the pen to carycomic!)

Categories: animal abuse, animals, anomalies, environmental, furry, unexplained
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