Archive for the ‘furry’ category

The Russian Yeti…

June 7, 2014

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The Discovery Channel recently presented a two hour investigation on the mysterious deaths of nine Russian students who perished horribly while hiking in the Ural Mountains in January of 1959…the Dyatlov Pass Incident. The deaths were horrendous, involving injuries so severe that Russian investigators later ruled that they could only have been inflicted by something more powerful than a human; there were skull fractures, ribs broken, and damages to internal organs.  Injuries were compared to those which might be suffered in automobile accidents. Bodily mutilations  were also seen; one victim had their eyes gouged out, and their tongue and lips missing. The show inferred that the students were viciously slaughtered by a Yeti, investigating the history and other reported sightings of the creature in that area, and speculating on the last days of the ill-fated hiking party.  It made for compelling if disturbing viewing…

Now reports of the Yeti are numerous in the Northern Ural Mountains of Siberia, with over 5,000 eyewitness testimonies on record.  Yeti/Bigfoot creatures go by many different names dependent on the area, with those in the area of the incident often calling the cryptid the Menk or more simply, the Russian Yeti.  The creature is described as being about 8-1/2 feet high, to have little in the way of a neck, to be hairy, and walk in a bipedal fashion with somewhat of a hunched posture.  They are also reported to make whistling-type sounds that carry and reverberate.  Yeti attacks while rare are alleged to have occurred in 1925, 1945, and 1953, possibly when the Yeti feel cornered or threatened.

Anyways, none of the students returned from what was supposed to have been a two-week hiking trip. Perceiving themselves to being followed several days into the journey, tensions and concerns heightened until on their final night alive, something so frightened the hikers that they abandoned their tent, fleeing only partly dressed into the frigid night to a point almost a mile away where they split into smaller groups, all the individuals in which met with violent ends; some may have been trying to climb a tree to escape, others were found lying face down as if fleeing a pursuit from behind, and still others were found in a group intertwined together as if in hiding.  Their frozen bodies were discovered some time later, and in their abandoned and ruined camp a short note was found bearing the haunting message, “Now we know the snowman exists.”  

Film was also recovered from the doomed expedition, one image of which showed a blurry image of a large, hulking creature (see picture) that was perhaps taken on the run.  The last photo showed distorted bright lights in the sky, which it was speculated may have been some kind of secret Soviet munitions test; this was a remote location in Siberia, after all.  Thinking that this may have scared the Yeti into an attack, the investigative duo and their camera team fired off flares seeking to provoke any Yeti in the area; only one armed hunter had accompanied the group for protection.  An eerie sound was heard from the forest, with the solitary armed man suggesting that they needed to leave at that point, and wisely they did.  The team left with no hard evidence of the Yeti, but a general belief that something unknown was out there, and may well have decimated the Russian hikers in 1959.

The Soviets had closed their investigation of the incident after only several weeks, officially maintaining that overwhelming natural forces such as an avalanche had killed the hikers or caused them to freeze to death.  A surviving member of the Russian investigative team was interviewed, however, saying that a military boot cover was found at the site of the abandoned camp, suggesting that the Soviet military had been there prior to their arrival and orchestrated a cover-up.  UFO theorists also offer the explanation that perhaps the hikers were offed by aliens, with the lights in the skies that fateful evening coming from extraterrestrial craft.  High levels of radioactivity were reported to have been detected in the area, with the skin of the victims reported by one who attended their funerals to have been deeply tanned, perhaps radiation burned.  

Whatever we may choose to believe, the Dyatlov Pass Incident continues to horrify and fascinate over half a century since the event, with many unanswered questions posed that may never find resolution…

 

Wild Bill’s “Bear Beast”

June 1, 2014

 

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The Bear Beast is a large, aggressive creature with a canine head and teeth and the body of a grizzly bear devastating the black bear population in Raleigh County, West Virginia.  Weighing up to 1,500 lbs.,the first sightings of the beast go back to 1887.  In an episode of the Mountain Monsters show (S2/Ep09), elimination of the bear beast is of particular interest to “Wild Bill” of the AIMS team, apparently because he desires the pleasure of hunting black bears himself.  Wild Bill is an “expert tracker” and former gung-ho marine member of the team whose speech is sometimes shown in captions due to its marginal intelligibility. 

Three eyewitnesses of the bear beast were interviewed by the names of “Badger,” “Pee-Wee,” and more commonly, “Joe.”  The trio had come upon torn-up black bears, the presumed victims of the bear beast.  On their first night’s investigation, the team found a trail path through the woods apparently used by the bear beast, heard sounds, and saw thermal images ahead.  “Wild Bill” charged ahead alone at that point, apparently not knowing the difference between an investigation and a hunt.  The sought beast was apparently run off by this charge.

The next day, team leader “Trapper” rebuked “Wild Bill” for his actions, and relegated him to bringing up the rear. A heavy trap was constructed out of a metal cylinder, later to be baited with putrid bear parts.  A hunter, “Jake,” was interviewed who had come across mutilated bear carcasses. He had a trail cam picture of something large shown in partial side view.  A deer hunter, “Mac,” was also interviewed who had a short video of the creature taken advancing at some distance from the side. A large paw print picture was also presented alongside which a human foot was dwarfed.

On their final night’s hunt, the team found digging marks and the remains of a cub.  An image was seen on their thermal camera, and in pursuit of it team members Jeff and Willy fell into a large den filled with animal carcasses.  Team members tried to cross a deep stream in pursuit of the creature’s perceived path, but member Willy lost his footing in the swift current, and required recovery. 

Returning to their trap, the team found it empty but heard growling and unloaded firearms in that direction, perceiving afterwards that they had struck the creature from “lung blood” (blood with air bubbles in it) found as they tracked the creature.  The bear beast was presumed to have returned to the stream and to have died there, although no body was found…

Devil Dog of Logan County…

May 24, 2014

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With Mountain Monsters showing rehashed episodes under their “Uncaged” title, we’re going to take to reviewing older episodes of the series not covered here previously but still being shown when multiple episodes are aired. Again, it is stated that covering these episodes does not constitute endorsement of the existence of the creatures covered; the summaries are presented for informational and entertainment purposes only.

Canines Gone Wild might be considered a subtitle for certain episodes of the Mountain Monsters series, what with segments now on both Hellhounds and in this outing, Devil Dogs. Not to be confused with the snack cake, these Devil Dogs you don’t eat, although conceivably they might eat you. They are feral and ferocious nocturnal beasties that are five feet long, and have massive shoulders, red eyes, white fur, and weigh in at about 200 pounds. In Logan County, West Virginia the beasties are slaughtering coyotes big time, leaving their victims drained of blood and at times, minus their livers. It’s speculated that some kind of turf war is going on with the coyotes, who are basically getting their tails kicked. I can almost imagine West Side Story being remade with coyotes and Devil Dogs here, complete with dancing before a rumble…

…but I digress. Anyways, the long-haired, mostly bearded Mountain Monsters crew began their investigation by interviewing another memorable eyewitness, an outdoorsman and hermit called, “Shoeless Terry.” True to his name, the barefooted man reported seeing dead coyotes and a pack of the Devil Dogs, who interestingly enough were led by a white-furred Alpha female..During their first night’s investigation, the Mountain Monsters crew found two heat images on their thermal camera, suggesting that they were indeed dealing with more than one animal. The images disappeared quickly, however, and could not be pursued.

Other daytime interviews followed with “Richard,” who presented a blurry distant video, and “Seth,” a snare trapper who also reported finding dead coyotes and who had an inconclusive image from a trail camera. A drop door trap was then constructed long enough to accommodate the several animals who might be lured into it. Memorably in a low comedy sequence, the trap was baited with “Hillbilly Caviar,” a foul concoction of coyote blood and squirrel aged to rancid perfection in a large jar. Be forewarned that this is not a show during which one wants to snack, as the gross-out factor is high.

During their final night’s hunt, the team followed its usual tactic of dividing into two groups for the purpose of flushing the desired creature from its established hunting grounds into their prepared trap. A coyote call was used as a lure to which a vocal response was received. A bit later disturbing cries and yelps were heard as presumably the Devil Dog pack was doing its little dance of death on some coyotes; the investigators pursued, and sure enough came upon five dead coyotes, one of which had been separated from his liver. There was surprisingly little blood, and 7″ tracks were found. Amidst the usual waving of guns, five heat signatures were seen on the thermal camera. Pursuit followed then to the trap which had actually been sprung and for once, contained something!  But alas, upon carefully eyeballing the unhappy occupants of the trap, it was found that they had snared…three wild dogs.

The dogs were assumed to have been members of the Devil Dogs pack, the Alpha female leader of which had eluded capture…clever girl!

 

Mountain Monsters: “Uncaged”…

May 17, 2014

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Those who tuned in to Destination America’s “Mountain Monsters: Uncaged” show expecting a new episode instead got a repackaged and reheated old episode with so-called “bonus footage,” “insider facts,” “Behind the Scenes Secrets,” producer interviews with cast members, and on-screen written commentary as old footage rolled. The episode so rehashed was the “Kentucky Hellhound of Pike County” installment that we’ve commentated previously on in April, and reference is made to that posting should the reader desire information on it.

We’ve seen this kind of trick pulled before where old material is paired with some augmentation and commentary, and pushed back on viewers as a “special edition” or something similar.  In “Behind the Hunt” conversations, the show’s executive producer interviewed cast members, who were seated as a group in a cozy-looking hunting lodge setting that was complete with a bearskin rug on the floor. These conversations yielded such gems as team leader Trapper saying in reference to the Hellhound, “We kinda put fear in that creature’s heart.”  

To me, what was touted as an “enhanced episode” showed little actual enhancement, except for perhaps die-hard fans.  It was perhaps appropriate to refer to the show as “Uncaged,” however, since these guys haven’t been able to cage and maintain captivity of anything unknown so far…

 

The Wampus Beast…

May 14, 2014

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The Wampus Beast sounds almost made-up; if memory serves, there was even an early video game called, “Hunt the Wampus.”  The Wampus Beast in question, however, is a massive feline about five to six feet long that weighs in at five to six hundred pounds. The big cat is muscular, has eyes that are fiery in appearance, and has excellent night vision.  The pursuit of said beast became personal for the Mountain Monsters crew because their trap builder, Willy, had suffered the loss of pigs to the creature in Pleasants County, West Virginia.  Willy had also reportedly seen the Wampus Cat at the age of nine, the memory lingering with him since. 

On their first night’s hunt, the AIMS crew found scratch marks and urine high on a tree.  Team member Willy left the hunt convinced that his pigs were in danger, and sure enough three young pigs were taken and later found slaughtered.  In kind of a neighborhood interview, Nettie, a bus driver, described having a huge black beast jump in front of her vehicle on the road.  Fred, a handyman, described feeling a sensation of being watched.  A dark video supposedly showing the big cat was submitted by a cattle farmer, Nolan, who had reportedly lost cattle to the creature.

It then became “Hunt the Wampus” time! 

On their final hunt, the team found skeletal carcasses and clawed trees.  They used an animal distress call in an effort to lure the beast, and heard a growl in response.  Cows on Nolan’s farm were spooked.  A snare trap had earlier been constructed, and returning to it the team found that it had been sprung and shredded.  Large tracks were found in the immediate area.  Team leader Trapper, his group again defeated, commented of the Wampus that “I underestimated his strength.”  I guess it’s hard to keep a good big cat down…so until all this is sorted out, keep your pigs safe, hold them close, and tell them what they mean to you! Tomorrow, it may be too late…

Sheepsquatch of Boone County…

May 10, 2014

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The latest episode of Mountain Monsters (S2/Ep06) proved that it continues to be a wild and wooly show with the pursuit of a Sheepsquatch in Boone County, West Virginia.  The Sheepsquatch has been profiled on a number of other paranormal shows, and is kind of a hybrid creature with goat, sheep, and possum characteristics.  It reportedly has wool-like fur, ram-type horns, claws, weighs in excess of 600 lbs., and stands about seven feet in height.  First spotted by coal miners in the 1800’s, the Sheepsquatch seems to be enjoying a rash of recent sightings and notoriety.

The AIMS team first interviewed “Mason,” a deer hunter who saw something about seven feet tall with a musky smell and dirty white color that made growling or screeching noises, and was apparently trying to get at deer feeders that he had set in the area.  In that vicinity, the investigators also found claw marks high on a tree.

During the first night’s investigation which followed, team researcher Jeff saw thermal images ahead of something on a tree which seemed to be beating its head against another tree.  Finding that tree’s location, team leader “Trapper” saw urine on the tree, and unwisely got so close to the urine source that in a moment of horror or low comedy, the caustic urine dripped into his face, blinding him temporarily and causing painful discomfort.  Knowing when they had been beat, the team retreated with their disabled leader at that point, Round One clearly going to Sheepsquatch!

The next day, “expert tracker” Wild Bill managed to get lost finding the trap construction site, arriving three hours late despite being provided with directions and a map…this was a funny episode!  A razor-wire trap 10′ tall was constructed while other team members interviewed “Rocky,” a deer hunter whose trail cameras had captured a partial image of something wooly with horns.  Rocky also had a container of supposed Sheepsquatch scat (feces), from which it was determined that the producer was omnivorous. Last interviewed was “David,” a craftsman who heard a roar like a jungle cat, and took a video showing something large coming up behind a pile of logs, which were splintered. 

On the final night’s hunt, the team split into two groups and tried to flush the creature up a deer trail area it frequented to their trap.  Fresh tracks and hot spots were found on the ground, together with claw marks on a tree.  A roar was heard, and eyes it was felt were seen about 60 yards ahead.  They tried to pursue the beast on foot, but it easily outdistanced them.  Taking to two ATV’s to even the odds, they pursued at high speeds on the rough and darkened terrain.  One ATV impacted with something that broke the windshield and stopped the vehicle’s progression.  The interpretation given was that Sheepsquatch had decided to turn and fight, with a circular hole in the ruined windshield felt to have been made by one of the beast’s horns.  The other ATV stopped to check on their comrades and continued the pursuit on foot, but Sheepsquatch or whatever was long gone…

…so you might say that the AIMS team was mauled by mutton, ahahahaha! 

 

CarFax “Mole” Commercial…

May 6, 2014

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Foxes are stealthy, and in our secret underground lairs, we track...many things.  What we track is on a “need to know” basis, but we will share that one of the things we track are accidents.  So when a balding middle-aged man makes a request in a new commercial released in April to see the CarFax, the floor beneath him opens up, and he is spirited via a tunnel to arrive in the presence of that great and secret control center, still seated in his easy chair.  The Car Fox himself appears before him, but we see that he has a number of able assistants, all vulpine, seated at a number of computer terminals that monitor and regulate operations.  The underground operations center is truly impressive, looking efficiently high tech, just like one of those command centers operated by Blofeld or one of the Bond villains.  They were, of course, mere amateurs by comparison…

The casually-attired Car Fox answers the human’s questions, only because it amuses him to do so.  We are made privy to the information that the foxes employ moles to dig up facts, and we are shown one of these moles gathering information with binoculars.  The moles are simply operatives, of course…foxes are the real brains of the operation.  In a different commercial, opossums are shown to gather service information on a vehicle.  One can never have too much information…empires are won and lost over such matters.

The Car Fox has evolved greatly since his humble beginnings as a simple puppet on the hand of an unscrupulous salesman.  But you can rest assured that your fox overlords only have your best interests at heart.  After all, we live to serve…(wink, wink!)

Fire Dragon of Pocahontas County…

May 3, 2014

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West Virginia seems to have more than its fair share of monsters, all of which are elusive. Following their by now familiar formula, in S2/Ep05 the “hardcore hunters and trappers” crew of Mountain Monsters” went in pursuit of a reptilian creature said to be 10 to 12 feet long and weighing in at about 1,000 lbs. The reptilian is drawn by heat, and can frequent the water as well as dry land, using waterways to get around.

Reports of the fire dragon go back to the 1920’s, when it was spotted by train conductors and even said to have attacked old steam engines. The Mountain Monsters crew first interviewed an eyewitness, “Bub,” who while fishing caught a glimpse of something with a big mouth and red eyes which stood up on its hind legs. During the first night’s investigation, the crew saw fecal droppings, thought they heard the creature, and saw fresh water marks left by something. Hearing shots, the crew encountered an area resident, “Chester,” who claimed that the creature knocked the chimney off his cabin in pursuit of heat; claw marks were seen.

The team then constructed a drop-door water trap in which they would later use a floating fire pit as a lure for the creature. Two fisherman were then interviewed whose boat was rammed on the Cranberry River; punctures and battering damage to the boat’s hull was examined. A hunter, “Grizz,” presented a video he took that showed a brief image of something matching the dragon’s description seen in the distance of the footage.

On their final night’s hunt, the team split and tried to drive the creature off land and into water towards their trap. They found a trail from an area where it had apparently bedded down as well as a hibernation hole into which a member of the crew fell.  A thermal image was seen on a brush pile, and while closing on it the team ran across two individuals on a four wheeler fleeing from their camp which something had destroyed. Concluding that the dragon had reached water, the team went downstream by land and water in the direction of their trap, arriving to find it torn apart and ablaze. They concluded that the fire dragon had been so energized by the fire near and upon the trap that he was able take out the side of it and escape. The fire dragon was pronounced to be “one bad-ass monster.

In next week’s episode, the Mountain Monsters crew will go in pursuit of “Sheepsquatch.”  I think we can all imagine how that’s going to go…

 

Godzilla Resurrection!

April 28, 2014

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I have a confession to make; I’ve always loved Godzilla, ever since the days that he appeared in badly-dubbed Japanese movies and was obviously played by someone in a rubber suit!  Godzilla fans have endured a variety of outrages over the years, including a series of increasingly lame and outrageous adversaries (e.g., the “Smog Monster”), bad storylines, and even alteration of the character’s gender. The last major studio film treatment in 1998 portrayed Godzilla as an iguana-like creature, focused on a human love story, and was almost universally hated by fans.  It appeared that Godzilla might have fallen to bad treatment rather than an oxygen destroyer, but we who believe have maintained our faith.

The upcoming reboot of the Godzilla franchise by Gareth Edwards promises to take Godzilla back to his 1954 roots.  Co-produced by Legendary Pictures and Warner Bros. under license from Toho, the new movie will be live action while Godzilla will be computer-generated.  Unlike the 1998 film, Godzilla will again fight several monsters rather than just the military.  The opponent monsters, referred to as “mutos,” will fly and be multi-limbed.  Godzilla himself will stand 350′ tall, the biggest incarnation ever.

The plot should delight conspiracy theorists.  It seems that Godzilla’s existence has been covered up by the U.S. government (like aliens, ‘ya know), and nuclear tests of the 1950’s were actually attempts to kill the creature.  Godzilla’s face is supposedly modeled on elements of features of bears, dogs, and eagles.  The big guy’s fighting style is based on that of bears and komodo dragons.  His roar is the original one pioneered by Toho, with improvements and enhancements.

Godzilla is conceived as “a terrifying force of nature,” and his kung fu should be the best.  He’ll be stomping his way into theaters this May, hopefully a monster for our times…

 

 

Werewolf of Webster County…

April 26, 2014

wpid-1398476464326.jpg – – When a werewolf is matched against armed West Virginian “Mountain Monsters” hunters, my money is on the werewolf!  In S2/Ep/04, the Mountain Monsters crew went in search of the Webster County werewolf in West Virginia, a creature over seven feet tall and weighing over 400 pounds with yellow eyes who is most active during the full moon. The legend of the werewolf dates back to 1770, when some Native Americans were killed along a Shawnee game trail, their chief supposedly reincarnated as a werewolf. Notably, wolves are not indigenous to West Virginia.

Following the show’s formula, the team then interviewed an eyewitness, a trapper named “Boone” who reported seeing a wolf with glowing neon-like eyes standing seven to eight feet tall on his hind legs. On their first night’s hunt, the crew saw thermal impressions on the ground, heard a howl, and thought that the creature had a deadfall trap set for them! They saw a second thermal image on a rock that appeared to be the shape of a large wolf. Approaching the rock sighted, apparent claw marks were seen on it. The rock was pronounced the werewolf’s “howling rock.”

The crew then prepared a rock pit trap, a deadfall-type trap with a two-ton slab of rock poised to fall over it. Then came the most scary moment of the show; the team leader, “Trapper,” extracted a tooth that was paining him using a pair of pliers! I swear that I am not making this up! Prior to this point, he had been self-medicating for a toothache with moonshine. Apparently, dentistry is more feared among this group than unidentified monsters. Gap-toothed grins in several of the members testify to this.

An interview then followed with “Hank,” a land owner who shared a video he had taken while driving past an upright, black-furred creature. Also interviewed was “Gunner,” a hunter who presented a picture of a huge black wolf taken by a trail camera.

On the final night’s hunt, the trap was baited with chicken, and the team split into two groups, hoping to drive the werewolf from opposite directions along the Shawnee game trail into the trap. One group found a bedding area apparently used by the beast that was littered with cattle bones. The other group caught a sighting of eyes in the near distance and the usual gun-waving and confusion ensued, one of the team in the excitement even managing to fall from a tree perch…but don’t despair, he only had the wind knocked out of him!

Converging and meeting by their trap, the investigators discovered…gasp…that the trap had been sprung, but that the prey had dug himself out, apparently dislodging the two-ton rock slab cover in the process! “We outsmarted him, but we underestimated his strength,” concluded the team leader. Once again, a magnificent werewolf has emerged unscathed, and may he ever confound his unworthy pursuers! – – I just love happy endings, don’t you?