Archive for the ‘animals’ category

Cecil’s Legacy…

August 1, 2015

 

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It’s heartening to realize that occasionally at least public outrage may be triggered by senseless acts of cruelty and violence against animals, and the illegal slaughter of well-known and beloved animal preserve lion Cecil by an American dentist in Africa has triggered spirited protests and heightened public awareness of both the problems of illegal poaching and the practice of trophy hunting.

The office of the Minnesota dentist involved has been the location of impromptu shrines, angry posters, and picketing, with Dr. Palmer himself in hiding, possibly to face extradition to Africa; over 100,000 signatures presently exist on an on-line petition urging such at this point.  Palmer’ s guides may face prison terms of up to ten years.   Trophy hunting is a nasty practice in which about 600 lions are killed annually, 2/3 of which make their way to America as an ornament for someone’s den or wall, a tribute to human arrogance, ego, and vanity. 

Many Americans simply don’t know that such things are going on, but due to the flap over Cecil’ s illegal hunting death even legal “big game” hunting businesses are starting to feel the pinch, some of which offer excursions to kill not only lions but also elephants and rhinos, for sufficient funds. Perhaps public shaming of participants in such ventures may make them less common…

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Cecil the Lion Slaughtered…

July 29, 2015

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I will always remember the occasion when I was taken as a boy of about ten to the den of a wealthy neighbor who was a “big game” hunter.  I was supposed to admire the heads of lions, antelope, and other exotic wild animals that stared at me from the walls, but instead I was filled with a sense of horror and revulsion; this was to me a charnel house, a mortuary. This “mighty hunter” had not done in my sight anything commendable to be worthy of praise or emulation.

The actions of my former neighbor, while I found them personally deplorable, were at least legal. Not so was the hunt of American dentist Walter Palmer of Eden Prairie, Minnesota, who paid at least fifty thousand to track and kill Cecil, a beloved and protected lion at the Hwange National Park in Zimbabwe who was readily identifiable, the object of research, and wore a collar.  Cecil was lured off the National Park and then shot with bow and arrow. Wounded and suffering, Cecil lived and was tracked for forty hours before being cornered and fatally shot by the “mighty hunter.” Cecil’s ultimate fate was then to be skinned and beheaded, and his cubs will likely be killed by the next lion in the hierarchy to spread their bloodline.  

Since this despicable and stomach-churning act, the dentist will at least be charged with poaching and has begun to receive some well-deserved drilling himself. The Yelp page for Palmer’ s dental facility has been overrun with negative comments. “Wouldn’t it be clever to see how you would face Cecil without your tricks and tools?,” ran one comment.  That’s a fantasy I could well entertain.  Rest in peace, Cecil…you deserved so much better than you received.

The Beasts of “Thrones”

July 26, 2015

 

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There are many reasons to watch HBO’s Game of  Thrones, including the superb acting, the complex plotting and character development, and the rich medieval settings inspired by European history.  Animal life as depicted in the series includes both present day and extinct species as well as fantasy creatures, some of which serve the human characters.  We are shown both dire wolves and dragons, for example, in continuing episodes.   An obedient dire wolf like Ghost can keep you safe from just about any hazard you might encounter in the wilderness, and an army with dragons in service is capable of laying waste to a castle.

Beyond such creature features we are introduced to the concept of a warg or skin-shifter, who is a person capable of slipping mentally into the mind of an animal and dominating that beast, making it do their bidding and seeing through its eyes.  Think mental dominance, kind of like Andy McGee’s character in Firestarter or the Jedi knights of Star Wars, but with an added remote viewing component.  It’s handy, for example, to slip into the mind of a bird for aerial surveys of the enemy’s location, and causing wolves to attack foes is also a useful skill.  Being a warg might be a nice power to have if you can’t actually shapeshift.

All in all, getting into Game of Thrones is a journey worthy of your time if you have any taste for medieval fantasy epics, and you can access past seasons on the “on demand” feature of cable services or pay per episode through Amazon.  I’d recommend starting the series at the beginning and working your way sequentially through to avoid feeling hopelessly confused should you jump in mid-stream.  Author George R.R. Martin’s A Song of Ice and Fire upon which the series is based is also quite a read…

Not Bad for a Beach Ape!

July 21, 2015

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Dang, these Aussie guys are tough!  When a cheeky bull shark tried to blindside Australian surfing champ Mick Fanning during a live televised competition, the blighter got a bit more than he bargained for.  Spectators thought that they were about to see someone eaten alive before their eyes, but despite being caught off guard and lacking the formidable choppers of his impromptu opponent, Mick slugged the shark in the back and retreated with all of his body parts intact!

I think we’ve found a worthy successor to  Paul Hogan as Crocodile Dundee!  (Film producers, take note!)  Pretty soon sharks will be watching Human Week on the tube to see if we’re as tough as they’ve heard…

James Patterson’s “Zoo” is Coming!

June 26, 2015

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When the revolution comes, mammalian furries of different species will work together, communicate over distances, and intelligently coordinate devastating attacks upon humans that will utterly overwhelm and decimate them!

So is the general premise of Zoo, a popular 2012 novel co-authored by James Patterson and Michael Ledwidge. That novel is soon to become a television series on CBS, beginning this upcoming Tuesday evening.  Thirteen episodes are assured, with perhaps additional ones to follow should the series catch on.  Zoo will be set in a variety of different locations around the world rather than in a single unchanging site.  Lion attacks in Los Angeles, California will apparently be featured early on, but we will also see domestic cat attacks.

A renegade zoologist called Jackson Oz is a featured character, with such lines as “Animal behavior is changing!”  Will the humans listen in time? – – Don’t bet on it!  The novel was generally well-received by most, despite some junk science in it. While thus far I’ve only been able to view previews and trailers, you can bet that I’ll be glued to the tube this upcoming week to cheer for the home team!

 

Cows in a Class!

June 5, 2015

 

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In a recent Dairy Pure milk commercial, an enthusiastic teacher is drilling her bovine charges on the “Five Point Promise” of the product.  Each “student” is dressed distinctly, with such accessories as eyeglasses and hair.

Apparently, chewing one’s cud is allowed in class…they’re cows, for crying out loud, what else could they do?!

When the teacher asks her students to enumerate what they know about the milk, one blond-haired cow responds, “It comes from udders,” and the rest of the cow-kids titter in repressed laughter.  Kids are the same everywhere…udders, heh, she said udders!

What I want to know is, how did this lucky teacher come to have only four students in class?  You can bet that they’re motivated, too…after all, what self-respecting young cow would want to be a milk dud, or an udder failure?  (Yes, we have no shame here…)

Burger King Chicken Fries “Pregnant” Commercial…

May 19, 2015

 

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Some things are so bad that they’re almost good…either that, or I’m a glutton for punishment!  It is into this category that I cast the hokey Burger King commercial for chicken fries in which a young hen and a box of french fries sit in a comfy living room, where the hen informs her parents on the adjoining couch that she and french fries are pregnant, and going to have chicken fries!  As we the viewers probably face-palm, the mother hen goes into a flurry of frenzied wing-flapping while her rooster father admonishes everyone to “Calm down!”  From the doorway a sibling of indeterminate sex comments, “Again?”  Unwanted chicken pregnancies are a national shame that we all pay the price for. – – Thanks, Obama!

The commercial pushes the envelope of silliness and stupidity, and lacks the creepiness factor of the Burger King monarch himself, who I would love to see in a death match competition with Ronald McDonald, Wendy, and the KFC Colonel…

 

Bigfoot of Ashe County: AIMS Erupts…

April 27, 2015

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Well, it was Round Two with the infamous Cherokee Devil on the S3/Ep08 installment of Mountain Monsters. The AIMS team met with “Aaron,” a supposed Bigfoot expert who maintained that there had been 12 sightings of the Cherokee Devil in the past 3-1/2 years, following which encounters seven of the people involved had simply disappeared! For the Devil to manifest himself, the witness has to be alone.

As team members Buck (pictured) and Huck had experienced previous encounters detailed in the last episode, they decided to venture out at night themselves without the knowledge or approval of the rest of the team. Heading to the shack in the woods where Buck had earlier supposedly been stashed by the creature, they found backwards writing on the walls, and heard scratching sounds. Team leader Trapper was not pleased to hear of their exploits the next day, and the assembled group returned to the shack, almost failing to find it as it had been camouflaged, presumably by the Devil. A spooky dude appeared outside of the shack who made the team members appear eloquent by comparison, and it was ventured that he was one of the seven who had seen the creature and completely disappeared. He did exactly that while the team was checking out reversed writing on the rear of the shed, so there wasn’t much character development there.

Well, the master plan was to use Buck as bait, placing him in a protective cage on the bridge trap that had been constructed but unused during the previous episode. Buck however took it upon himself to sneak out undetected late at night to go one-on-one with the Devil, who he felt would not appear if the trap was set, being that the Devil could read minds and all. The episode was reminiscent of The Blair Witch Project as Buck went first to the shack and then to the bridge trap by his lonesome, all the while thoughtfully video-journaling his thoughts for our convenience…


As the youngest member of the AIMS team sat alone on the bridge trap, the Cherokee Devil apparently manifested itself to him, although we in the viewing audience saw nothing; this is a low-budget show, after all. Buck was apparently able to drive the beastie off by uttering the Cherokee word for “leave,” a trick apparently communicated to him by the little Cherokee girl whose ghostly presence had been perceived in association with the Devil. – – Wasn’t that convenient?!

 

Chupacabra and the Kraken on “True Supernatural”

April 24, 2015

 

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Both the Chupacabra and the Kraken have been considered at other times on several similar shows, but like old friends (I have strange associates) it was good to visit them again on S1/Ep2 of True Supernatural (2014).

Information on the Chupacabra focused on appearances in and around Cuero, Texas. Specimens acquired in this region have leathery, hairless skin, strange paws on which the middle digits are somewhat attached, blue eyes, and apparently strange nodules on the rear end. The creature moves unusually, and may have only two nipples on a side. Unlike Mountain Monsters, the True Supernatural show tends to interview actual scientists, university researchers, and also more credible eyewitnesses.

Three reputed Chupacabra corpses were at hand, one of which was from Dr. Phyllis Canion, who lost 28 chickens on her ranch to the mysterious predator. From the three specimens, samples were sent to an animal genetics lab at the Texas A & M University, where analyses were run on bone, skin, and teeth that yielded conflicted results. One specimen was identifiably canine, the other a coyote-dog hybrid, and Dr. Canion’s was a coyote/Mexican wolf hybrid. Normally these two species don’t breed, and the Mexican wolf hasn’t been seen in the area for 80 years. Speculation ranges from the conspiracy crazy…that Chupacabra was a living weapon created by the government…to the more reasonable, that Chupacabra represented a form of spontaneous evolution…

Now in Berlin, Nevada a site has the fossilized remains of nine Ichthyosaurs, apex predators that were rather like the killer whales of their Triassic day. What is curious is that these remains all show broken necks and ribs, with their skeletons twisted and seemingly arranged. The inference was given that these bad boys were themselves bested by something even badder, namely the legendary Kraken! Cephalopods are known to construct fort-like structures and to be far more intelligent than we usually give them credit for being. The scenario was presented that when oceans covered the area, a Kraken lured these mighty Ichthyosaurs into its lair, killed them, played with their remains, and then arranged the vertebral columns in a fashion which may have mimicked the array of suckers on its tentacles. Wild stuff…and as invertebrates tend not to leave much of a fossil record, we do not of course have proof of a Kraken other than sailor accounts from an earlier century.

As the great Fox Mulder would agree, the truth is out there. Cue the X-Files theme music, please…and release the Kraken!

Mercedes-Benz “Fable” Commercial…

April 22, 2015

 

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I love to see classic fables revisited, and Mercedes-Benz has a winner in this one!  You know the story; the overly-confident hare challenges the stalwart tortoise to a race, in this version calling him a “turtle” and taunting that he better have a jet pack under his shell!

This bunny-boy is an arrogant jock of a type I’m well familiar with from high school; “Bask in my glory!,” the hare tells an adoring crowd.  Then the race begins (with a fox referee, please note), and the hare is off in a cloud of dust while the tortoise plods on, even being passed by a snail!  So great is his lead that the hare feels he has time for a few hands of cards with other woodland animals over a tree stump.  Meanwhile, the tortoise uses that time to turn into a Mercedes-Benz factory.  “Plot twist!,” he announces.  A magnificent Mercedes is shown; “Slow and steady, my a**,” comments the tortoise, his last word drowned out by a throaty engine growl.  The headlights of the Mercedes flare on like an angry beast…

All too late does the hare see the tortoise coming, the vehicle vaulting over him as he frantically tries to pull away from its approach.  “Who’s your turtle?!,” he exults. The victory of the tortoise is glorious!  Such is the power, you see, of German engineering…