Archive for the ‘animals’ category

Bigfoot of Lee County: Raven Mocker, Parts I and II

March 16, 2016

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Once again, we are off to the Bigfoot races on the S4/Ep08 installment of Mountain Monsters, the Raven Mocker. First seen by Cherokees in the early 1700’s, this Bigfoot variant is described as standing 7′ tall, weighing 500 lbs., and having black fur with all-white eyes. Where it gets freaky is that this Bigfoot is a kind of shape-shifter that can enter the soul of a raven, seeing from the aerial perspective of that bird, like the warg or “skin shifter” on Game of Thrones. Furthermore, they could change into any animal. Before a kill, the Raven Mocker is said to call out like a raven. They are said to consume the hearts of men. — Creepy, huh?

Well, our “hard-core hunters and trackers” first interviewed “Mike,” an outdoorsman who reported seeing a wrenched-off deer’ s head hanging in a tree. In the same vicinity, he reported seeing 16″ footprints, plus smaller ones apparently those of a human female! This raised the unanswered questions of whether the Bigfoot shape- shifted to a human female (a really bad date), or traveled with a human female who had a thing for big, hairy guys.

During their first night’s hunt, the team saw a tree structure, heard humming and then an “evil laugh,” perceived something running, and saw a number of humanoid-shaped stick constructions hanging.  The next day, they found raven prints, and when team member “Buck” made a raven call, tree knocks were heard in apparent response.  A bow hunter named “Scott” was interviewed who reported seeing a dead buck with a broken neck.  He produced a photo showing a blurry dark object against a dark background.  During the daylight hours, “Willy” with the assistance of “Wild Bill” had constructed a “steel cage raven wing trap” which was baited with deer meat.

During their final night’s hunt, the team followed their familiar tactic of dividing into two groups with the hopes of driving their quarry from different directions towards their trap.  One group found broken tree limbs and apparent wear to logs.  Things became freaky and the usual confusion ensued when team member “Huckleberry” claimed to feel the touch of hands on his back, and heard “Buck’s” voice imitated; the Mocker mocking, I presume.  A nasty foot trap was encountered in the ground, together with a deer head lodged in a tree, and a constructed structure on the side of that tree.  Team member “Jeff” claimed that he saw a face in front of him, with a ball of fire coming out of its mouth.  This was supposedly captured on a thermal camera image, which was again less than revealing…

Contending that they had found something that was “not human” and “supernatural,” the Raven Mocker saga was continued in another episode airing two weeks after the first.  Seeking guidance from recovering team leader “Trapper,” the team was admonished to go back to their “Native American roots,” and seek answers from where there was physical evidence of the Raven Mocker.  Returning to the woods in Lee County, Virginia at night, the team encountered again the “burning man” style tree structures, as well as footprints in the mud that were smaller and appeared to be those of a woman.  They heard mocking-type laughter, and then team member “Huckleberry” was brought down by a grapevine-type snare trap.

The following day, the team met with local researcher “Jeff,” who told them tales of the “Woman in the Woods,” an old barefooted woman who wears a cloak, and is supposedly followed by death.  They were advised to confront her in a Native American way.  As a lure, the team decided to take from the woman some of her possessions, and they rounded up some of the tree structure figures.  After gaining possession of these, a handprint was found on “Willy’s” arm, meaning that he, like “Jeff” and “Huckleberry” who had earlier been touched, had presumably been marked for death by the “Woman in the Woods.”

Well, the team then constructed several Native American styled huts, protecting them with sage and accessories like dream catchers, snake skins, and turtle shells. They put on “warrior faces and battle uniforms,” which meant quasi-Native American garb and rather badly applied “war paint.”  The men marked for death assumed places in separate huts and performed protective ceremonies, after which time a Bigfoot roar was heard together with tree knocks.  “Jeff” the team researcher seemed to be targeted, with his dream catcher jerked and the roof of his hut brought down upon him.  In a daze he was led off by someone in a cloak, and found by the pursuing team members at the base of a tree, bloodied and freaking out.  Following a bit of a hysterical reaction, “Jeff” related that the “Old Woman of the Woods” had shown him how and when he was going to die, and then told him that he was free.  This presumably got the rest of the marked men off the hook, and his associates seemed to feel that “Jeff” had taken one for the team. – – Are you not entertained?

Perhaps more merriment and mystery will follow in the next episode, when we are promised the Phantom of the Woods…

Bigfoot of Wirt County; The Ash Man

March 8, 2016

  

The Bigfoot Edition of Mountain Monsters continued on Ep07 of S4 with the Ash Man, a 600 lb. Bigfoot who stands about 7′ tall, is 3′ wide at the shoulders, and has blackish gray fur.  The creature was first described in the 1700’s by the Shawnee Indians, with the label Ash Man attached as the Native Americans described him as seen through the smoke and ashes of their cooking fires.  Team member Huckleberry had an encounter with the creature 46 years ago in 1969, and felt himself shaken and scarred by the encounter and its aftermath.

The team went to Wirt County, West Virginia, conducting the investigation and hunt on Huckleberry’s lands and farm.  During their first night’s investigation, the team found a nesting area and multiple piles of stacked rocks, a Bigfoot sign.  Huckleberry felt shaken by such discoveries, and couldn’t continue further at that time.  The following day, Huckleberry and Jeff were out in the woods when a small log was thrown at them, and they found a footprint and handprint, presumably those of the creature.  Rob, a hiker, was interviewed, reporting an encounter with a 7′ tall creature with black hair.  The eyewitness produced a picture showing something large and blackish seen through trees.

Meanwhile, trap maker Willy and “Wild Bill” had constructed a rather large “wooden fortress” trap.  That night, bacon was cooked as bait, with “Wild Bill” serving as cook for the affair, complete with a ludicrous chef’s hat that he managed to catch on fire during the proceedings yet wore the remnants of during the following hunt.  The team split into two groups at that time to flush the Ash Man out, and Huckleberry’s group found itself the recipients of large branches and rocks thrown from above in their general direction.  While dashing through the woods in pursuit, “Wild Bill” managed to get himself knocked to the ground by a blow from a tree limb.  “Do I still have all my teeth?,” he asked.  “Yep, they’re both still there,” quipped a team mate.   Via radio they called for reinforcements from Willy’s group, and the usual yelling, waving of guns, bad camera angles, and wild ATV ride followed as the creature was flushed in the direction of the trap.

Arriving back at the trap, the team found that the Bigfoot had apparently been caged only temporarily, with a large hole torn through the 14″ logs of its construction.  “We shook him up,” proclaimed Huckleberry.  One might say, however, that their plans to catch the Ash Man had gone up in smoke…

The Great Fire Ape…

March 1, 2016

  

The Bigfoot Edition of Mountain Monsters on The Discovery Channel continued with the AIMS team minus recovering leader Trapper heading to Pendleton County, West Virginia is search of the Fire Ape, an 8-1/2 foot tall, 700 pound Bigfoot variant with reddish fur first spotted over 200 years ago by Native Americans.  This creature is drawn and enraged by fire, with mythology maintaining that humans originally stole fire from the beast.

The team first interviewed Jerry, a landowner and eyewitness who set off fireworks.  Following that, his dog took off after something, and the man spotted a reddish thing that was apparently the cause of the dog’s attention.  On their first night’s investigation, the team observed a mashed down “ambush spot” in the weeds, and heard something on the river bank which they pursued, resulting only in Buck falling into the creek.  

The reported events of the following day commenced with observations of Wild Bill’s self-training activities, which included running madly around cones.  “I don’t know if he’s training, or going insane,” commented another team member.  A catapult snare trap was then constructed by Willie and Wild Bill while the rest of the team returned in the daylight to the creek, seeing wild daisies move and hearing grunts.  They interviewed Mark, an outdoorsman who reported having lit a fire by his cabin, thereafter hearing a commotion and supposedly seeing the creature entranced by the flames in his fire ring.  He later found an 18″ footprint of which he had a picture.  Reuniting, the team then tested their trap using Archie, a burlap Bigfoot they had made.

On their final night’s hunt, the team then lit torches to draw the Fire Ape, and set up a fireworks station to further lure him.  They found crossed trees, a usual Bigfoot sign, and were knocking on trees to draw a response.  It was then that the episode’s producer appeared, all in a dither, to report that the sound man, Pablo, had vanished! Investigating, the team found the sound guy’s mic cover and sound boom, but where in the world was Pablo?  They decided to light up their fireworks to distract the Fire Ape, thereby allowing the presumed apprehended Pablo to escape.  Team members thought that they heard Pablo yelling in the distance, after which time they also felt they had heard the Bigfoot yell.  

Eventually Pablo came stumbling out of the woods, muddied and shook up.  His contention was that he had been blindsided and knocked down by the Bigfoot while following the group in the rear and wearing headphones that apparently muffled the sound of the creature’s approach.  Needless to say, the Fire Ape escaped without even a photographic image being recorded.  Pablo, apparently, was none the worse for the wear, but wished that he was back in South America…

“Scariest Moments” on Mountain Monsters

February 24, 2016

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I, for one, am generally not keen on “Greatest Hits” episodes of any series as they are usually thinly veiled efforts to repackage old material and stretch out a season.  The “Scariest Moments” installment of Mountain Monsters (S4/Ep05) was no different, being essentially a brief synopsis of six different and unrelated previous episodes.  I’m not going to comment on the episodes as I have previously posted on many of them.  For the sake of reference, however, the episodes covered were on the Hellhound, the Cherokee Death Cat, the Cave Creature, the Bear Beast, the Shadow Creature, and Hogzilla.

The summaries provided by these episodes may be helpful to viewers trying to get a brief feeling for the creature involved, or a general sense of what the show itself is about.  It can be striking how similar the episodes really are, both in terms of the methods involved, the flow of the action, and the outcomes.  In only one of the six episodes profiled was the creature being pursued actually captured, that one, Hogzilla, turning out to be a rather large but perfectly ordinary pig.  

The scariest incident I can remember in the time period covered involved team leader Trapper using self-dentistry to extract an aching tooth using pliers!  The series will return to new episodes this upcoming weekend with one called, the Great Fire Ape.  It will probably be at best a mediocre ape, but one that makes a monkey of them all…

…and by the way, the theme song for this show is called Mountain Man Town  by the Last American Cowboys…  

Lightning Man on “Mountain Monsters,” Part II

February 16, 2016

 

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As the second part of the Lightning Man episode commenced on Mountain Monsters (S4, Ep04), acting team leader Buck tried to talk with the grandson of the man who owned the barn that the artifact was buried in, but was rebuffed.  The team then talked with “Shannon,” a Bigfoot expert, who pronounced the stone object that they had unearthed in the barn to be a “Thunder Blade.”  The “Thunder Ax,” when assembled, was the only thing that could harm the Lightning Man.  Its possession was therefore both a blessing and a curse.

The mythology held that the “Thunder Ax” was given in the early 1900’s to the Sutter family by Native Americans.  A spellbound object, the ax kept the Lightning Man under control while buried, but the spell was broken when the ax head was dug up.  The Lightning Man and Thunder Brothers wanted possession of the ax as then they wouldn’t be controlled by it, and could run rampant.  If the Lightning Man touched the ax without retaining possession of it, however, it would again become spellbound and the Bigfoot controlled.  There were two other components to the ax besides the blade, namely the ax handle and the lashings which bound the head to the handle.  

Following clues in a poetic riddle, the team then went in search of these components.  A large oil drum was found in the woods which contained a pipe within which was the ax handle.  A crazed redneck called “Skunky Tom” then pegged a round at the team, causing them to beat a hasty retreat with the discovered pipe.  Again following clues, a pond was found with a dock beneath which was a box containing part of the ax handle lashings; apparently, not just any would do.  Inconveniently, the lashings had been separated into two groupings, with the second piece put in a cabin.  Following the poetic riddle (“You shall find if you seek/in the cabin by the creek“), the team located a cabin with a stove within which was a hollowed-out log containing a pipe within which was the second part of the lashing. Unfortunately the team had lit a fire within the stove, with said fire including the log in question as fuel.  Not to worry, however, Huckleberry urinated on the log to extinguish the fire. – – Hey, this isn’t Masterpiece Theater, folks!

Well, the AIMS team finally assembled the Thunder Ax, which was put into a security box devised by Willy which allowed the Lightning Man to touch the object while triggering a device to snatch it away into the safety of the original trap.  Taking up their posts, the team heard thunder after which lightning struck a tree, causing Jeff to be knocked down, loosing both a boot and control of his bladder in the process.  The security box or safe worked, however, and the Thunder Man presumably touched the ax, which was saved from him.  The rejoicing team members were going to again dismantle the ax and re-bury it, leaving their own riddles strewn with the component parts to provide location clues should any future generations need to reassemble the ax.  I’m sure that those riddles will someday become classics of English literature, and as with most myths, we never saw the actual object of them…

Bigfoot of Blair County: Lightning Man

February 13, 2016

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In a two-part saga, the AIMS team of the Mountain Monsters series went to Blair County, Pennsylvania in search of a Bigfoot variant called the Lightning Man.  This Bigfoot stands about 8′ tall, weighs about 500 lbs., has black fur, and travels in the company of seven other Bigfoot called, the Thunder Brothers, which would be a great name for a wrestling team or perhaps a band!

With team leader Trapper still on the mend, the remaining group members first met with “Robert,” a farmer who described hearing thunder sounds coming from the ground on an otherwise clear night.  Investigating with a flashlight he perceived something to pass by outside, although the flashlight ceased to function in the presence of whatever it was.  During their first night’s investigation, the team heard noise, saw movement, and came upon a number of tracks that indicated to them the presence of multiple creatures.  

The following day as Willy and Wild Bill constructed a steel octagon trap, the remainder of the team followed a creek where the footprints had been found, and thought that they had flushed a Bigfoot from a tree, coming upon a hollow tree which produced thunder-like sounds when beaten on with rocks.  They named this a thunder tree, and thought this or something similar was used by the Thunder Brothers to produce their characteristic sounds.  A second eyewitness, an electrician called “John” described hearing noises by an old barn, and produced a picture of a Native American lightning symbol found within that barn.  When the electrician had rigged the barn with motion sensor lights, the lights failed to operate when the suspected Bigfoot passed by, but worked in the presence of other moving wildlife.

During an unprecedented second night’s hunt, the team explored the electrician’s barn, and found a buried wooden eagle figure. The lights then went out, and there was felt to be movement in the barn. The team heard thundering sounds, and thinking that the Thunder Brothers were at it again, exited the barn to charge after them. Acting team leader Buck, however, thought this a diversionary tactic, and by himself doubled back to the barn where he unearthed what appeared to be a primitive stone ax head. An arm supposedly then reached through the barn boards trying to get at Buck, who beat a hasty retreat and was rejoined by the rest of the team. They resolved to share their exploits with Trapper, and research the significance of the discovered stone object. The upcoming episode of Mountain Monsters will presumably wrap things up, probably with more unanswered questions…

“Zootopia” is coming!

February 10, 2016

 

 

 

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Imagine a world in which “humans never happened,” and you have the central premise of Disney’s upcoming 3D computer animated feature, Zootopia.  Now the mammals which dominate are anthropomorphic, which to the uninitiated means they are human-like intelligent bipedal creatures who use language, wear clothing, and employ technology in a civilized society.  This is a familiar realm to a card-carrying furry like myself; my world, and welcome to it!

Now two of the central characters include Judy Hopps, a rookie police officer rabbit and a red fox called Nick Wilde (played by Jason Bateman), described as being a small-time con artist (while I prefer to consider him as sly). Together the two form an unlikely alliance to solve the case of a missing otter.

The result is a buddy comedy/adventure with a large cast of animal characters that include a gazelle pop star and a noble lion mayor. Opening in early March, you’ve never seen anything like Zootopia be-fur…

Bigfoot of Central Kentucky: Squalling Savage

February 3, 2016

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At the end of the previous episode of Mountain Monsters, the youngest member of the AIMS team, Buck, had relayed during the credits that something was wrong with team leader Trapper, who had been taken to the hospital for an unspecified but serious ailment.  At the beginning of this episode, the five remaining team members visited Trapper at home, where it was disclosed that he had suffered a blood clot in his leg, and underwent emergency surgery.  We actually got to see Trapper for the first time without his hat, revealing his balding head.  Trapper also revealed that at their previous Kentucky encampment in pursuit of the Midnight Whistler (not to be confused with the Midnight Rambler, a great Rolling Stones song) , he had taken a sample of reddish hair and procured a large footprint impression too large to have belonged to that smaller Bigfoot type.  

The Bigfoot variant who was the subject of S4/Ep02 was called the Squalling Savage (- -poetry, eh?), and was felt to stand about 8-1/2 feet tall, weigh 600 – 800 lbs., and be capable of climbing trees.  His type was first sighted in the 1600’s by Native Americans.  The Midnight Whistler and Squalling Savage Bigfoot subtypes were essentially felt to occupy the same environment of central Kentucky, competing for dominance there.  While in pursuit of the Midnight Whistler in an earlier episode, team members had heard the growling of the Savage, which was atypical for the Whistler.  

Prior to their first night’s hunt, the five team members met with Steve, a trail guide contracted by Trapper to guide the men close to the site of their previous encounter.  While the guide was reluctant to go fully to the exact location, by his directions the team was able to proceed, and found that first night a previously-seen nest of the Midnight Whister in addition to hearing the growls of the newly sought Squalling Savage.  The next day, team members Willy and “Wild Bill” built an elevated tree trap into which they planned to lure the Savage by mimicking the sounds of his rival, the Whistler.  A second meeting with their somewhat reluctant trail guide Steve brought his admission that he and a friend had a previous encounter with the Savage while hunting, and a cell phone video was produced revealing an intrusion by some kind of large growling thing, with a whistle having been used to lure it that proved unexpectedly effective.

On their final night’s hunt, Buck in an off-road vehicle was to initially flush the Squalling Savage out, passing him then into a relay where other members further along the route would further lure the Bigfoot with whistles, finding sanctuary in “spider hole” covered excavations while the Bigfoot passed safely by them. – – Well, the best laid plans of mice and men, as Bobby Burns would say, can come to naught.  A tree was thrown at Buck’s vehicle, a second tree later blocked his path, and Huckleberry’s spider hole cover was rudely torn off by the crafty cryptid, causing said monster hunter to beat a hasty retreat.  Willy abandoned his post at the trap to support his companion, and it was pretty much of a route by then.  As usual, no Bigfoot was trapped…but Huckleberry did relate that the Bigfoot he briefly sighted was of yet a third type from either the Whistler or Savage varieties.  

That’s right, three apparent Bigfoot species for the price of one, all in central Kentucky!  The five AIMS members who had worked this outing conceded that they had been a little rusty without their leader, but resolved to get back on the case, and hunt another one…hunting and actually catching one being entirely different things!

Bigfoot of Harrison County: Stonish Giant

January 27, 2016

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The fourth season of Mountain Monsters opened with the team in pursuit of the Stonish Giant in Harrison County, Ohio.  Another Bigfoot clone, the Giant stands at a height of nine to ten feet, and weighs in at around 1,000 lbs. First seen by Native Americans in the 1500’s, the Iroquois found the coat of the giant impervious to their arrows; it seems he rolls around in the clay and such, this layering adding resistance to primitive weapons.

Following their familiar formula, the team interviewed an eyewitness, John, who had an encounter while hunting deer.  The ground shook under the weight of the creature, and he heard a cry emitted that combined a roar and a snarl.  The hunter later saw tracks following the encounter, unusual in that one of the legs appeared to be dragging to a degree.  In their first night’s investigation, the team saw broken off trees, found a 22″ footprint, and thought that they caught a glimpse of the creature.  They also found a “tree structure,” and an area where the Bigfoot was thought to have bedded down.  

The next day, trap maker Willy and “Wild Bill” constructed a super-sized snare trap which would later be baited with road-killed deer.  A taxidermist, Russ, was interviewed who related an encounter of a friend who was approached by the Bigfoot from behind and supposedly hit him with a shot.  Going to that site, the team found blood in the vicinity on vegetation, and assumed that the Bigfoot had indeed been wounded, which explained the apparent dragging evidenced by one foot on tracks earlier seen.  

In the final night’s hunt, the team split into two components with the intent of driving the wounded Stonish Giant towards their trap.  Blood was found in several locations, as was the slug apparently dislodged from the creature’s wound; growls were also heard.  While in pursuit, the team heard gunshots ahead of them; another group was apparently poaching their Bigfoot!  Blurred images were presented of at least four men dragging something off in a tarp, and hastily leaving in a truck.  Arriving at that area, the AIMS team found yet more blood, and deduced that the other armed group in advance of them had nailed the Stonish Giant but good, and made off with the body.  They were not amused…

…and who could blame them?  Don’t ‘ya just hate it when someone absconds with a rare and disputed cryptic animal that you’ve been chasing?!

America’s Best Eyeglasses Owl…

January 24, 2016


Owls have always had a popular following, representing as they do wisdom, knowledge, and learning.  Their popularity may have been further bolstered by their use in the Harry Potter books and movies.  

Recently an articulate and fine specimen has emerged as a spokesman for the America’s Best Eyeglasses line, suitably bespectacled and able to model different frames simply by an uncanny rotation of his head. The owl himself is both wise and extraordinarily expressive, with a lot of eye and other facial movement. He is further able to cast the hapless human into mimicking the usual owl role, reducing them to single-word utterances of “who?” as he elaborates on virtues of the eyewear company.

If Harry Potter had an owl of this caliber at his side, it might have been easier for him to take on Voldemort…