Archive for March 4, 2019

“Colonel RoboCop” Commercials…

March 4, 2019

In the increasingly bizarro-world in which we live where entertainment and merchandising blend, it is perhaps fitting that we see KFC’s iconic spokesman Colonel Sanders morph into RoboCop, who in a series of new commercials has been given the mission of protecting the franchises “secret blend” of 11 herbs and spices.  Voiced by the original movie RoboCop Peter Weller, the blend of man and machine is disturbingly perfect, complete with elements of the Colonel’s trademark hair, tie, and white suit.

In one of the commercial spots, the Colonel is plied at a dinner gathering for his secret KFC recipe.  “If I told you, then I’d have to kill you,” replies the cybernetic Colonel, interrupting the awkward silence which follows with a repeated weird mechanical laugh.  The Colonel makes a persuasive argument for consuming the product while respecting the secrecy of the recipe that we ignore at our own peril.  Consume, and do not question…or else!  

Perhaps a world of corporate wars is coming, one in which Colonel Robocop takes on Ronald “Terminator” McDonald, or the Mayhem guy is in an iron cage match with Progressive’s Flo.  These tales are waiting to be written… *shudders*