What’s creepier than a dentist appearing out of a huge golden sarcophagus in an ancient Egyptian artifacts museum?
Not a heck of a lot, really. In a recent Aspen Dental commercial, it seems that a man and his wife are walking through an Egyptian museum puzzling over insurance coverage for dentistry when they approach an enormous gilded mummy case. The lid slides open with fog rolling out, revealing an Aspen dentist, clad in his white clinical jacket. The dude even has a dental chair in his body box, and explains how Aspen will work directly with insurance providers to make things easier. The visiting male is somehow transported on to the dental chair…someone fetch the Egyptian Book of the Dead, quickly!
“If easy is wrong, I don’t want to be right!,” comments the dentist as both he and his unwitting patient descend into the sarcophagus. The lid slides closed, leaving the hapless woman crying out to her husband. We mentally process this surreal scene…is this what happens to you if you’ve led an evil life? Ra moves in mysterious ways…
…perhaps Anubis was into dentistry, or maybe this is just one vision of hell, I dunno. Perhaps this is how King Tut bought the farm, or maybe he died so young from gum disease. Such things are beyond the comprehension of a simple woodlands creature like myself. But speaking of hell, I go to the dentist next month…
FOXSYLVANIA 