FOXSYLVANIA

–A guy is riding his lawnmower from Alaska to Rhode Island to collect an inheritance, with his cute little dog riding along on the front of the mower!  Why the lawnmower?–He owes a bundle in unpaid traffic fines!–His wife rode with him until she got pregnant.

When the guy gets to Rhode Island, he’s gonna blow up the lawnmower!

–Heh, true story:  A guy in Rhode island extorted $20,000 from his mother by kidnapping her cat and holding the animal for ransom!  The woman was about 80 years of age.

I’d never do that…I kidnap my mother’s lawn gnome!

The only reason that humans are the dominant life form on this planet is that they’re not afraid of vacuum cleaners! 

Today (Aug. 31st) is the anniversary of Princess Diana’s death, but it’s also the aniversary of Caligula’s birth in 12 A.D.–Why do I meantion the demented Roman Emperor Caligula in a furry blog?–Well, he made his horse a senator…and that senator was never charged with lewd conduct in a public restroom!  Caligula also had the sea whipped, and declared himself a god.  He was stabbed to death by his own guards after a four year reign, and his last words were supposedly, “I’m still alive…”

I’ve seen my fair share of Tarzan movies, both vintage and more current, and one thing strikes me as exceedingly strange…why was Tarzan portrayed as clean shaven?! — I mean, this guy was raised by apes, he lives off the land, he wears animal hide for a Speedo…and in every film portrayal, he’s got a close shave, usually without even razor stubble showing!– Did Tarzan have a Norelco cordless or a Gillette razor out there in the jungle?–Something just doesn’t make sense here…or was Tarzan a eunich?!

This is cute… PETA and ASPCA in some locations are accepting T-shirts from former fans which originally commemorated confessed pro athlete dogfighter Michael Vick, and are donating the shirts to animal shelters for use as bedding for the animals, or to sweep out the shelters with!  Actions sometimes speak louder than words, right? 

–Alright!–Michael Vick copped a plea bargain, and could get up to five years in the slammer.  His slick lawyers, of course, are gonna try and get that reduced to under a year, but it will still be time in prison.  Other charges could also be brought against Vick, plus if he returns to pro football, they might run a potential suspension after the jail time.  The dogfighter has also lost his Nike contract, and having an admitted dogfighter on the team would be a public relations disaster…so Vick may lose his pro football career altogether.  Hopefully the word will get out from this highly-publicized sordid matter that dogfighting exists, and it is an abomination that will not be tolerated…

Michael Vick must decide today whether to accept a plea bargain in his dogfighting case as two co-defendents have done, or risk even heavier charges.  The full truth won’t come out until the case spins out, but it’s gonna get interesting…and ugly!