Archive for the ‘furry commercials’ category

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Advance Auto Parts Speed Training…

May 6, 2011

 – – Failure is not an option for those participating in Advance Auto Parts Speed Training, at least not if you value your backside!  Imagine sprinting briskly across the African plain while hoisting a muffler to your shoulder…no picnic that, but it gets worse when you’re wearing a meat suit of raw steaks around your waist, and being pursued by a pack of at least five lions very interested in a luncheon!  That ought to get the employees to beat feet!  The performance of the guy first depicted is apparently at least adequate; he lives to draw salary another day, and earns a “not bad” comment from his boss waiting to pick him up in a jeep.  We are not shown the fate of the girl who follows next, a garland of meat around her neck…hope she ran track and field!

In a related commercial, we are shown battery installations practiced while free-falling from a plane; it’s almost as brutal as the performance reviews I used to undergo.   One suspects that Advance has a really interesting retirement plan…


Categories: absurdities, animals, Brilliant but twisted, furry, furry commercials, television
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New Aflac Duck…

April 30, 2011

 – – Say it ain’t so…the Aflac duck’s been canned!  Or at least the voice of comedian Gilbert Gottfried is following jokes he made on Twitter about the earthquake and tsunami in Japan.  Aflac, incidentally, gets 75% of its revenue from Japan, so Gilbert was history.

The new voice of the Aflac duck is Daniel McKeague, an advertising sales manager from Minnesota.  He reportedly will be getting a sum in the low six figures for a one year contract, one which is likely to be renewed…

…maybe I could sing opera for a J.G. Wentworth commercial!

Categories: animals, anthropomorphic, controversial, furry commercials, television
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The Urban Woodsman from Honda’s “To Each Their Own”

April 26, 2011

 – – Well, actually it’s called “Date With a Woodsman,” and it concerns a bearded lumberjack picking up his date in his new Honda Civic hybrid.  As the girl is walking up to the car, he has to tell his pet fox to ride in the back seat so that the girl can ride in the front passenger seat!   We then follow the couple as they shop in a general store for hiking boots and outdoor gear before going to a river or lake.  Later, we see the fox poking his head out of the car window, apparently enjoying the ride.  Last of all, the fox is seen reposing on a rock in the background of the woods (shown) while his master(?) is making a rather impressive wood sculpture for his date.

While the woodsman appears a bit on the err, rugged side (birds nest in his beard, for cripes sake!),  anyone who has a fox for a companion is keeping good company…now I wanna see the fox driving the Civic!

(…tip o’ the pen to carycomic for alerting me to this commercial!)


Categories: animals, furry, furry commercials, television
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The Bridgestone Beaver

April 2, 2011

– – What goes around, comes around…or so we are shown in the karmic Bridgestone beaver saga, generally regarded as probably the best of this year’s Superbowl commercials.  We are shown an industrious beaver hard at work in a wooded area, dutifully carrying a branch across a road with a bridge spanning a river visible in the background.–Oh no!–A car is then shown zipping down the road towards the beaver, who throws his paws up in anticipation of becoming roadkill.  The guy driving, however, calls upon the excellent handling characteristics of his Bridgestone tires, and is able at the last second to swerve around the threatened beaver, avoiding a messy tragedy.

For the beaver, life is one dam thing after another…and we cut to six months in the future, when the same motorist is shown traveling down the same road during a storm.  This time, a tree across the road halts the driver’s progress.  It’s a good thing, too, because the bridge the motorist must cross has been swept away by a raging torrent of water!  The beaver and the motorist spot one another, and exchange salutes…it’s a great moment!

A parable for our time…now that’s car-ma!

Categories: animals, Brilliant but twisted, furry, furry commercials, television
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At One With Beer and Nature?

March 30, 2011

– – The Dos Equis Most Interesting Man in the World is notable here because of his apparent natural abilities with animals, who also seem to appreciate his legendary charisma.   We pause to salute this man because he goes out of his way to protect animals such as husky dogs, bears, and as illustrated,  foxes. As evidence of his ability to get along with and even control nature we cite the fact that whenever he swims, dolphins follow him.   He has a live owl that is shown in one commercial landing on his arm.  A recent commercial shows this beer-drinking wonder shooing a mountain lion out of his kitchen!

The actor who plays “The Most Interesting Man” is in real life Jonathan Goldsmith, who is committed to Saber Tigers, an organization designed to save big and endangered cats.  That makes Goldsmith one cool cat himself…


Categories: animals, furry, furry commercials, furry spirits, television
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Don’t Mean A Thing If It Ain’t Got That Swing!

January 19, 2011

– – It’s Ellie the Elephant, and this perky pachyderm swings out of the jungle in the newest GE Ecomagination commercial to a pulsing soundtrack of the Benny Goodman jazz standard, Sing, Sing, Sing.

Jiving past jet engines and electric car charging stations,  this baby’s got what it takes and she knows how to move it…and as a side benefit the hot licks accompanying her may just interest some of the younger audience in the best of swing jazz…

Categories: animals, anthropomorphic, cool things, furry commercials, television
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The Quiznos Kittens…

October 1, 2010

– – There are some clever and innovative commercials featuring furry characters, such as the Geico ad with Maxwell the pig.  Other commercials with furry characters do not serve the fandom well, such as the one with a trio of kittens screeching “five-four-three” to the tune of Three Blind Mice.

The kitten “Singamals” appear in a rhythm-challenged brass band, singing very badly about the joys of the fast food franchise’s Value Menu.  Internet condemnation of the ad is almost universal, with one commentator stating that the ad “is worse than one can possibly imagine,” and another saying that the kittens resemble “brain-damaged rejects from karaoke night.”  These kittens get old very quickly!

Not all Quiznos commercials have been horrendous; I rather liked a 2003 ad called Raised by Wolves which featured Jim Parsons of The Big Bang Theory as a businessman flashing back to suckling at the teat of a Siberian Husky.  While the kittens aren’t creepy, they certainly get annoying in short order… 

Categories: animals, anthropomorphic, furry, furry commercials, television
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