Archive for the ‘anthropomorphic’ category

Hail, Caesar!

July 24, 2011

 – – Caesar’s back, and he’s dark and seriously miffed…Caesar of the Planet of the Apes franchise, that is!  It’s been a long time since the original 1968 Charlton Heston Apes movie introduced us to what was then revolutionary special effects make-up  and the delights of Roddy McDowall as chimpanzee archaeologist Cornelius; he would later play Cornelius’ son, Caesar, in Conquest of the Planet of the Apes, and later in Battle for the Planet of the Apes.  McDowall characteristically spent close to four hours in the make-up chair for each chimpanzee transformation.  Despite wearing heavy ape prosthetic appliances, McDowall was able to effectively emote his character’s personality by exaggerating his facial expressions.

In the new Rise of the Planet of the Apes movie headed your way in August, a scientist is experimenting on a chimpanzee named Caesar to develop a cure for Alzheimer’s Disease.  Caesar’s intelligence is greatly enhanced by the experiments, and well…you know the rest.  The CGI apes have amazingly intelligent-looking eyes, but it remains to be seen whether this new Apes movie will be more fun than a barrel of monkeys or will simply drive you bananas…

Return of the Slowskys…

July 16, 2011

 – -I have to admit that I’m not a big fan of turtles, and if I want to see something move at glacial speed, I’ll go to Walmart and play “dodge-’em” with the senior shoppers obstructing the aisles there.  The Comcast (now rebranded Xfinity) spokes-turtles, the Slowskys, have been on hiatus for a long time…but would you expect anything else from them?  We last saw the turtle couple, Karolyn and Bill, in 2009.  In the latest Xfinity spot, we learn what the leisurely-pace lovers have been doing in those intervening years…procreating! 

Well, we won’t get into the gritty mechanics of reptilian sex here, as this ain’t that kind of blog…and although he’s been a long time in coming,  offspring Stanley (aka “Bill Jr.”) is at last here, and he’s cute as a button, even boasting toys like a rubber ducky in the comfortable-appearing Slowsky home…

The Chicken or The Egg?

June 29, 2011

– – Worldly philosophers have debated this one for eons:  Which came first, the chicken, or the egg?   In this short commercial for DirecTV, we see a chicken voiced by John Goodman answer his door to behold…an egg distinguishable only by eyeglassses!   Well, the egg (voiced by Steve Buscemi) winds up on the chicken’s couch in a homey-looking room where they debate the chicken vs. egg issue while promoting DirecTV.  The chicken gets the last word in…

– -These Rats ROCK!!!

June 15, 2011

 – – Remember the giant talking ants in earlier Orkin commercials?- -Well, no rat finks these, the latest Orkin commercial features a duo of really rad anthropoid rats playing hot licks on guitars in the living room of a nice suburban home that the family of four in residence comes home to unexpectedly.–Alright, the rats are a bit on the scruffy side and they’ve made a little mess on the floor, but damn, these rodents ROCK!!!- -Think Stephen King meets Jimi Henrix!

The one rat looks positively evil when he chides the family for coming home early, but hey, did you want Justin Bieber?- -These rats have got what it takes, and they know how to use it!  They even offer the boy in the family a gig playing drums for them!- –Take it, you fools, don’t you know a gift when you see it?! – –I’ll play drums for them if the kid doesn’t want it, we’d RULE!!!  (I can see it now…Foxy and the Vermin, Live In Concert!)

When the rats are driven out by the Orkin man (imagines voice of Stewie from Family Guy, “Damn you, Orkin man!”), they even split in a totally cool rat rod!  Don’t drive these rats out, suburban white bread family!- – Sign them to a contract…FAST!!!- –These boys have a future! 


Bears – “That’s Amazing” Geico Commercial!

June 2, 2011

 – – Worldly philosophers have long pondered the question, “Do bears (defecate) in the woods?”

Well, this one shown by Geico does…respectably, using a privy, of course!  And this bear is also equipped with a newspaper tucked under his arm and reading glasses!  Realizing that others may be waiting to use the facility, he leaves when his business is done.- -What more can the observing biker say other than, “That’s amazing!”

While perhaps not as brilliant but twisted as the gecko, caveman, or question guy commercials, this “amazing” furry commercial bears a look!– -With Geico, you never know what’s bruin

Netflix Tiger and Bunny Commercial

May 25, 2011

 – – In a Netflix commercial spot, a grouchy live-action grandpa intrudes into an animated world where a tiger and a bunny are cutely curled up together asleep.  “I’m not going to cry, am I?,” asks grandpa of the ‘toon characters.  “Only if you don’t believe in the power of friendship!,” responds the doe-eyed bunny sprightly.  “Really?,” counters the jaded and sarcastic tiger.  “You guys are good!,” the curmudgeonly grandpa says in parting from the cartoon duo, a ‘toon critter hanging on his back.

In the next scene, grandpa is back in the living room, begrudgingly watching the classically-styled animated cartoon movie with his wife and granddaughterThat’s so cute, it’s stupid!,” comments grandpa of the Disneyesque movie.  As we  well know, cute and stupid sells, and so does this clever Netflix ad that works on a variety of levels…

New Aflac Duck…

April 30, 2011

 – – Say it ain’t so…the Aflac duck’s been canned!  Or at least the voice of comedian Gilbert Gottfried is following jokes he made on Twitter about the earthquake and tsunami in Japan.  Aflac, incidentally, gets 75% of its revenue from Japan, so Gilbert was history.

The new voice of the Aflac duck is Daniel McKeague, an advertising sales manager from Minnesota.  He reportedly will be getting a sum in the low six figures for a one year contract, one which is likely to be renewed

…maybe I could sing opera for a J.G. Wentworth commercial!

Obscure Cartoon Foxes…

April 28, 2011

 – – A character called Sly Fox appeared in a Warner Bros. cartoon produced in 1957 called Fox Terror.  Also appearing in this ‘toon and featured in it was Foghorn Leghorn, who thanks to Geico has been enjoying a bit of a renaissance lately.  Now Sly Fox was after some chickens for dinner, and sought to bypass the barnyard security system of Barnyard Dog by having Foghorn Leghorn distract and annoy the dog (–Foghorn annoying?–Now that’s a stretch!).  Anyhow, the fox never does get the chickens due to the interventions of a hyper little black rooster, and at the end Foghorn and the dog get wise to the fox, and run him out of the yard.  He’s shot, which fortunately is seldom fatal in the ‘toon world; the fox does dynamite both Foghorn and the dog, which has no long-term affects, either.

I love the way that Sly Fox is drawn, and you can see hints in the treatment of the figure of Wile E. Coyote.  Voiced by the great Mel Blanc, the fox wears several disguises and at times even sounds somewhat like Bugs Bunny.  One good lookin’ fox this, Sly regrettably only appeared in a single cartoon but should have been featured in his own show… 

Werefoxes…

April 18, 2011

 – – On this night of the full moon, I find it appropriate to post about my fave were-animal, the werefox.  Now don’t get me wrong, I love werewolves dearly…some of my best friends, and all!  With the understandable excitement over werewolves, however, the other were-animals tend to be neglected a bityet fall into the same furry shapeshifting family.

Werefox stories are common to northern China, where they are seen to inhabit the netherworld between the material plane and the unseen dimensions.  They can take human form and mate with normal humans, although such people tend to turn into a zombie-like slave of the werefox;  (–heh, gotta get me some of those!).  Even while in human form, the werefox retains his or her fox tail, which can be a dead give-away when it pops out of clothing!  The werefox can also lose control of its human form when it sleeps or gets good and drunk.  This can pose a major embarrassment.

Werefoxes are not the strongest of the were-animals, and are accordingly not as likely to rip deserving individuals to shreds.  They are rather more inclined to mess with the heads of their intended victims, playing heavy-grade tricks on them or perhaps laying a curse on their sorry asses.  For this reason werefoxes are often associated with sorcery, and in Native American legends sorcerers preferred to shapeshift into this form. – – Can’t say that I blame them!

So support and respect your friendly neighborhood werefox, and give him his due…you may have found a clever and resourceful new friend!