With Halloween nigh, I thought it might be appropriate to pay a Foxsylvania tribute to Witch Hazel, one of Warner Bros. mildly darker characters lightened by her humor and self-parody of witches in general. Witch Hazel is almost reminiscent of the Warner Bros. character of Granny, but turned slightly to the dark side…
Created by Chuck Jones in 1956, Witch Hazel was reportedly inspired by the witches of Shakespeare in Macbeth, but considerably more comic. Viewers knew that Witch Hazel would never actually eat children, nor defeat Bugs Bunny. Hansel and Gretel did actually appear in Bewitched Bunny featuring Witch Hazel, but Bugs handily thwarted her, masquerading as a truant officer to gain access to the witch’s abode. Hazel then tried to feed Bugs a poisoned carrot, but that didn’t go as planned for her, either…he’s apparently unintentionally rescued by Prince Charming in another crossover from fairy tales!
At the end of that episode, Bugs employs an accessed magic powder to turn the witch into a rather winsome female rabbit, walking off arm in arm with her. Breaking the fourth wall to address the viewing audience, Bugs informs us that he knows that this is a witch, but asks us if they (females) aren’t all witches inside! (*breath-taking gasp!*) Dialogue like this would probably not pass muster in today’s politically correct age…
( I don’t care, the female rabbit is still hawt! )
I have always had an interest in and appreciation for vintage cartoons, not to disparage the modern product ( although some “limited animation” ‘toons are poorly drawn and abominable). It’s just that when we look back on some of these efforts stemming back to the early days of animation, we can appreciate how clever, wildly creative, and groundsbreaking they truly were…
One such example is the 1935 Looney Tunes cartoon Hollywood Capers (featuring Beans). Now Beans (one of the Boston Beans, he tells us) is a black cat properly attired in overalls and a too-small hat who sneaks into a production studio, and we meet cartoon versions of Charlie Chaplin and W.C. Fields along the way.- – How sad that such classic characters are becoming increasingly unknown to many people!
Now Beans creates all kinds of mischief in the studio, even meeting the Frankenstein Monster, who was almost a current issue at the time that this cartoon was made…
So take the time to view some early vintage ‘toons, which can have the sensation of being an acid trip sans drugs. They are wildly remarkable for their time…
I, for one, think that it’s time that Warner Bros. rehabilitates and brings back Pepe Le Pew, the hopeless romantic French skunk. Created by Chuck Jones and first appearing in 1945, the character was caught in a firestorm a few years back for his signature behavior of foisting his unwanted amorous intents upon females, specifically one Penelope Pussycat…
I get it! What was perfectly laughable and largely acceptable behavior in 1945 isn’t now, and Pepe needs to be and could be re-imagined and re-introduced, perhaps as a defender of women or as a bonded mate to a now equally-loving Penelope; portray him as a chastened now successful relationships counselor, even! We just lost a lot when Pepe was banished to cartoon purgatory…
Pepe was lovable, and had a certain charm. He satirized French culture and the stereotype of the great French lover, blinded by his own misperceptions of his desirability; the joke was always on Pepe, who because of his skunk-odor wasn’t desirable, and was hitting on a member of another species entirely, failing to discriminate such. Pepe had a cluelessness that was relatable and even endearing. He never successfully scored, unless you count unreciprocated kissing as that…and face it, there are very few cartoon skunks in the field!Heck, with his repellent scent, re-brand him as a kind of superhero or police officer. Imagine, for a moment, the Pepe and Penelope crime fighting team!
So how about it, Warner Bros? Why does Pepe Le Pew suffer harsh sanctions when the Mango Mussolini does not? Free Pepe Le Pew from his cartoon prison, and re-introduce the boy as someone who’s learned his lesson, and changed! – – It can be done!
With Halloween coming, our attention turns (more than usual) to monsters, and an underrated cartoon monster is Gossamer, a creation of Chuck Jones who first appeared in the 1946 Warner Bros. cartoon, Hair-Raising Hare.Gossamer has a heart-shaped head and face, and is completely covered in reddish-orange hair, his only clothing a large pair of white or gray-white tennis shoes…
NowGossamer is a creature of indeterminate species and sex, originally intended as an antagonist to Bugs Bunny, who quickly exploits Gossamer’s attraction to girly-type things like manicures and hair make-overs. Gossamer is also handily defeated even by Porky Pig in his space-cadet identity in service to Daffy Duck, calmly using a monster hair-clipper…of Acme manufacture, of course!And surprise…Porky’s clipper reveals that Gossamer is entirely made of hair!
Gossamer is essentially a paper tiger, so to speak, and while usually a hulking giant seen lurking in Gothic-type castles or even on Mars, he actually has a hidden shy and sensitive nature, and is more scared of people than you are of him. Enjoy the following compilation of Gossamer’s greatest moments that follows, and watch for a cartoon version of Peter Lorre right at the beginning!
To my knowledge, there hasn’t been an on-going werewolf character in a regular TV series since Oz on Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Josh in Being Human. Fortunately, the Wednesday series on Netflix has introduced a leading werewolf character, a female no less, in the person of Enid, the roommate of Wednesday Addams.
Now Enid is not your typical dark and tormented werewolf character, but instead a rather cheerful and bright-spirited young lady who is just at the start of her werewolf journey, in the process of discovering herself and experiencing her first transformations. She contrasts almost completely with the darkness of Wednesday, having her half of their shared room in bright colors whereas Wednesday’s half is black and gothic. When asked at one point how she feels, Enid responds, “warm and fuzzy!”
Herupbeat nature initially causes Wednesday to keep Enid at some distance, but their relationship grows during the series, and in the second season now completed it’s revealed that Enid is not only a werewolf but an Alpha, capable of changing into her wolf form willfully without a full moon. Should she do so at this point, however, she will be permanently locked into her werewolf form, unable to transform back to human status…
Well, it turns out that when Wednesday is prematurely buried by a series villain and in danger of death by suffocation, Enid’s powerful werewolf form is needed to excavate Wednesday from her grave just in time. Fearless and unshaken, Wednesday declares “I enjoyed that” of her burial experience; you gotta love this dark girl! Enid, however, is locked in her werewolf form and feral, and goes on the lam. She is pursued by (hooray!) Uncle Fester and Wednesday at the end of the second season, with Wednesday riding in the sidecar of Fester’s motorcycle, and Fester ecstatic about the fun they’ll have pursuing such a dangerous creature!
Itwill be interesting to see the further development of Enid’s werewolf character, who Wednesday promised to pursue and restore. One hopes that Season 3 of Wednesday will not be long in coming…
A mini-dinosaur might make an interesting if cumbersome pet, and of course they’d have to be well-behaved! With a name like Walter, this diminutive T-rex sounds rather domesticated, but he’s still awfully big for human environments, and so can barely fit into things like elevators and taxicabs…
Asthma medications haven’t changed much in fifty years, you see, so the albuterol inhaler is really a dinosaur of sorts. Walter is then a metaphor representing older, outdated “rescue” albuterol-only inhalers for asthmathat primarily treat symptoms of asthma without addressing underlying inflammation. Airsupra is a “dual-action” inhaler that treats both symptoms and underlying inflammation of asthma…
So Walter is awkward and outdated on tandem bikes, being, after all, a dinosaur. We’re unlikely to see him in any of the Jurassic Park movies either, which is a pity because he does appear genial and is cute…
If you’ve noticed, we now see Earl the Cat from the Smalls cat food commercials mostly as a simplistic two-dimensional line drawing these days. Rarely do we see the wonderful Earl as the guy in the fursuit anymore…
This is a shame, because fursuit Earl is far more captivating than line drawing Earl. He was so good and compelling that his presence probably distracted from the cat food product itself.There are other examples where a commercial character was so magnetic that they apparently distracted from the product being advertised, and so were sadly phased out. I just think that we had yet to see the best of fursuit Earl…
ConsiderLactose Cow in the Lactaid commercials, aka “the Milk that Messes With You.” Mess with us she did, but was incredibly comic and memorable in doing so, far outshining the demure blue-and-white Lactaid Cow. I for one deeply miss seeing these commercial stars, and since I am powerless to return them, will leave you with a few memories of the best of The Milk That Messes With You. Characters gone but not forgotten…*sighs*
Before Mr. Ed, a forgotten show of the 1950’s called The People’s Choice starred Jackie Cooper but the real attraction was a basset hound called Cleo who appeared to be talking or at least projecting her thoughts to the human characters…
Now Jackie Cooper was one of the few child stars who actually found work as an adult actor once his 1930’s role in The Little Rascals was over. In The People’s Choice (1955-1958), he played an aspiring politician who initially was secretly married to the mayor’s daughter. Cooper would later go on to play Perry White in the first three Superman movies…but this post is about Cleo, who would offer sardonic commentaries upon the human actions about her.
This was hokey 1950’s comedy, but the concept of a talking dog was innovative for its time, and Cleo often did steal the show,paving the way for Mr. Ed and future anthropomorphic animal characters. Hard to find now, some full episodes of The People’s Choice may be viewed free of charge on YouTube…Woof!
While Mr. Ed gets most of the attention, he was preceded by Francis the Talking Mule. The original Francis movie was released in 1950, and would go on to appear in a total of seven, yes seven movies! Elvis had not yet hit the scene, and people in the 50’s needed something to do, so they translated to film from three short stories written by David Stern for Esquire magazine about a talking army mule who would only talk to a dimwitted lieutenant, helping him in his military and other ventures…
NowFrancis was actually a female donkey named Molly, selected because she was easy to handle. She supposedly cost $350 to buy, but made millions from the film series. To create the illusion that the mule was actually talking, thread would be fed into the animal’s mouth which would cause the mule-actress to try and remove it by moving her lips. The same technique would later be used for Mister Ed! Francis would also appear in a 1952-53 comic strip, Francis, the Famous Talking Mule.
A talking donkey, however, preceded Francis in The Bible! In the Biblical Book of Numbers, Chapter 22, verses 21 – 39 we are given an extraordinary account of an Old Testament furry, a female donkey who had her mouth opened by the Lord to the extent that she was able at least temporarily to talk to her abusive master and engage in a dialogue with him!
It would seem that Balaam was a pagan non-Israelite prophet and diviner who was commissioned by Balak, King of the Moabites, to lay a curse on the Israelites. After divining and seeing that the Lord was really with the Israelitesand that they could not be cursed, Balaam relayed his message to Moabite king, who would not take no for an answer. Yahweh then instructed Balaam to to follow the Moabite delegation to the hill upon which Balak thinks Isreal would be cursed…
On route, Balaam rode his donkey, who alone perceived an angel standing in the road with a drawn sword in his hand, and turned off the road into a field. Balaam beat the donkey to get it back on the road. Then the angel stood in a narrow path through vineyards with walls on both sides. The donkey pressed close to the wall, crushing Balaam’s foot against it. The louse beat the poor donkey again…
So the donkey moved ahead, and this time the angel appeared in a narrow place where there was no room to turn either to the right or the left. The donkey simply lay down at that point under Balaam, and the crud became angry and beat the poor animal a third time!
Then the transformation happened. The Almighty opened the donkey’s mouth, and it said to Balaam, “What have I done to you to make you beat me these three times?” Balaam answered his pack animal, telling her that she had made a fool out of him, and that had he a sword in his hand, he’d kill the poor thing right then! The donkey’s words revealed that it had been trying to warn Balaam about the angel, to which Balaam finally bowed and admitted his sin. Sadly, the donkey kinda drops from the Biblical narrative at that point, but is an early example of an anthropomorphic being, as well as an early animal rights advocate. One can imagine them being voiced by Eddie Murphy as in Shrek…
So guys, if you come across a talking mule or donkey, give them a listen…you just might become a believer!
I rather like the notion of having anthropomorphic internal organs that can function outside of our bodies without killing us by their absence, and come complete with their own sets of organs, such as limbs, eyes, mouths, and apparently brains, as such ambulatory organs can talk. We’ve earlier seen commercials for stand-alone organs such as the bladder (Myrbetriq), who (below) kind of resembles a large red apple with very soulful eyes…
Now wouldn’tit be cool if you also could at will detach various of your internal organs, and take the whole family out for, say, a walk in the park? Or perhaps send them on missions to do your bidding, even to freak out or scare people? There’s got to be a good horror movie in that scenario, with you having a perfect alibi for the police while your organs went out to terrorize the neighborhood!– –This could give a whole new meaning to venting your spleen! Why, with autonomous, detachable organs, you could even bring new meaning to the old song, “I Left My Heart In San Francisco!“I’ll bet that the heart could really belt out the old standards, I tell ‘ya!
(A heart in a piano bar, performing a medley of Tony Bennett songs…)
But I weirdly digress…the heart in this Repatha commercial is a sweet if wounded soul, wearing a bandage on her head to denote having suffered a heart attack. I’m assuming here that the heart has the same gender as its possessor, as it does have rather feminine eyes, eyelashes, and lips…but we’ll leave the matter of secondary sexual characteristics in organs to wiser heads than mine, such wasn’t covered in my biology courses…
Repatha is used to control LDL cholesterol when statins alone don’t do the job, and both the lady and her detached organ don’t want another heart attack. Appropriately enough, the sound track to the commercial is the song, “Listen To Your Heart…”
So a Happy Easter to all, and please leave your organs within your body, or at least keep them on a leash…don’t leave your muscles in Brussels! And if you leave your heart in San Francisco, maybe high on a hill, it will call to you…
FOXSYLVANIA 
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