Archive for August 2023

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Still Lovin’ Vintage SyFy Movies…

August 29, 2023

If there’s still a ten-year-old boy buried in you somewhere, you can appreciate vintage 1960 science fiction movies like Dinosaurus, because hey, who among us wouldn’t jump at the chance to fight a T-Rex with a steam shovel?! You’ve always wanted to, right? ‘Fess up, now… 🦖

We all know that explosives, atomic or otherwise, can unleash beasts from the past from the ocean bottom, frozen underground rivers, you name it. So when blasting to expand a harbor on a Caribbean island brings a T-Rex, Brontosaurus, and caveman to the surface that are reanimated by lightning, you all know that mayhem is gonna ensue…but a least you may get a dinosaur ride out of it!

Possibly this girl below has had worse dates than this one, too. At least she doesn’t have to provide an intellectually stimulating conversation…

Now the climatic scene of Dinosaurus featured a foreman (Caucasian, of course!) in an excavator battling a T-Rex on the edge of a precipice. This has got to be iconic for brains versus brawn, or the modern versus the primitive…and we’ve seen variations on this theme play out on cinema screens since, such as Sigourney Weaver’s Ripley in a power lifter suit fighting the formidable alien queen in Aliens…

Well, our human hero in Dinosaurus gives the T-Rex several uppercuts with the earth mover bucket before deciding that he can get better momentum against the carnivore by swinging the whole rig around against him, a tactic which wins the day and gives us hope for tourism on that Caribbean island…hooray for heavy equipment manufacturers and Earth-denuding capitalism! 😸

Whether it’s for simple nostalgic value, to laugh along with outdated special effects, or to simply appreciate the heritage of the genre, vintage science fiction movies continue to be a kick to watch…

Categories: alternative realities, creature features, extinct species, horror, movies, sci fi
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“Howl;” Werewolves on a Train!

August 20, 2023

Werewolves on a train? – –Well, why not…it worked for snakes on a plane, and monsters and other nasties can be even more horrifying if their victims are somehow in a confined space with less chance to run or escape…

So take a British night train out of London, have it break down in a deep, dark forest infested by werewolves, and you’re set for some claustrophobic gory fun. Being British, however, this will be a proper train, complete with a tea cart girl dispensing tea and chicken sandwiches. There is a guard on duty, working a second shift but well-attired in a dress jacket, asking passengers for tickets…

Things start to go awry when the train hits a deer which clogs under the wheels, necessitating a stop where the investigating engineer becomes victim #1. Werewolves gradually approach and then infiltrate the train, which passengers progressively barricade. As the barricades are breached, the characters of passengers are revealed, and hand-to-hand combat becomes necessary with the werewolves, which to me rather resemble Yeti with upgraded dentition…these are humanoid werewolves, with not nearly enough hair and snout. I like a werewolf with a good muzzle, so I fault the creature design…

As the Nazis discovered, you can only push Brits so far, and in one memorable scene, a well-attired book-reading gentleman goes absolutely medieval on a werewolf’s head with a fire axe! Howl is recommended for moments of black humor such as this, and you can catch this 2015 film on Netflix or Utube…

It‘s the last train to oblivion! 🙀

Categories: anthropomorphic, furry, horror, movies, paranormal
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Return of…the Gorn!

August 14, 2023

It was back in the 1960’s that we first encountered the Gorn in the Arena episode of Star Trek: The Original Series. Who can forget William Shatner as James T. Kirk grappling with a hulking rubbery-suited reptilian creature intent upon killing him? Great stuff then, and a comic delight now!

The Gorn also appeared to fight with Captain Archer in the under-rated series Enterprise; he shot one multiple times, presumably to ensure that it was dead. Guess who won’t be joining The Federation any time soon? So it’s good to see the mean keen green guys revised, revamped, and updated for modern times, for the Gorn are classic Trek“ heavies…”

Unlike Kirk, the young Spock that we see in Strange New Worlds did not spare the life of an offending Gorn, but in all fairness it was either the Gorn or Spock and company who were going to be offed. Yes, the Spock of Strange New Worlds can go medieval when the situation calls for it…whoever would have thought?!

The Gorn have been reimagined, too, into a faster, far more nimble and ambulatory species reminiscent of the aliens which plagued Sigourney Weaver’s Ripley. They even implant human hosts! Captain Pike, he of the uplifting hair, considers them “monsters.”

With the season cliffhanger ending with intelligent, space-faring reptilians descending on an outnumbered Enterprise, Captain Pike will have to pull something out of his hair to defeat the lizard horde.- – What a pity we have to wait to see Part 2!

(Command hair; not everyone has it!)

Categories: aliens, fantasy, reptiles, television
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Comments: 11 Comments

“Angela” the Sun Bear Goes Viral!

August 3, 2023
“You’re a GREAT audience, do ‘ya know that? For my next little number, I’d like to share a medley of musical standards from Sinatra!” 🐻

No, China’s Sun Bears are not escapees from a furry convention, humans in a fur suit despite allegations to the contrary!

A zoo in eastern China has denied allegations that their Sun Bears are humans in costume, pointing out that a costumed human would only last a few minutes in the triple-degree heat before collapsing. Chinese zoos have also been accused of spray-painting dogs to make them look like wolves, and painting donkeys to resemble zebras…

Not all bears are big hulking menaces. The Sun Bear is the smallest bear species, and stands about 50” tall on his hind legs. From the back or side, the bear does present a rather human-like appearance, especially when it interacts with humans by waving its paws. But no, that’s not some dude in a suit…

(Tip o’ the pen to carycomic!) 😁

Categories: animal oddities, animals, current events, furry
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RIP, Paul Reubens…

August 2, 2023

I was shocked and deeply saddened by the recent death of actor and comedian Paul Reubens, not knowing that he was battling cancer. Best known for his Pee-Wee Herman character in his red bow tie, white shoes, and several sizes too small gray suit, Pee-Wee’s Playhouse ruled 1980’s Saturday morning kid’s television, presenting us with a twisted world that appealed to children and secretly adults alike…

I grew up watching wild and crazy children’s TV hosts like Soupy Sales and Sandy Becker, and Pee-Wee Herman was just the logical extension of the demented kiddie show host, a perpetual 10-year-old boy trapped awkwardly in a man’s body. I’m a man-child too, ‘ya see, the 10-year-old in me still secretly loving Godzilla movies…

Paul Reubens recognized the enduring power of childhood. A few other comedians have too, as did the late great Andy Kaufman when he memorably lip-synched the theme to Mighty Mouse, complete to a vintage recording with earnest expressions and dramatic gestures…

Pee-Wee Herman in his Playhouse created an entire twisted world for us, a microcosm of madness complete with a cowboy, a sea captain, dinosaurs, anthropomorphic furniture and devices, a robot, and even a genie in a box! It was a world of enchantment far preferable to reality, and we felt that we belonged there! Paul Reuben’s “Playhouse” world was a fully fleshed out alternative reality drawn from bits and pieces of our childhoods, the better parts, really…

Pee-Wee Herman expressed the inner child in all of us, and represented the way that we wished we could respond to inflexible humorless adults if we were not ourselves expected to be respectable grown-ups. Pee-Wee was Peter Pan with a sarcastic sense of humor…

Paul Reubens was more than just Pee-Wee Herman, too. He had movie and TV roles in which he was virtually unrecognizable, such as The Spleen in the under-rated film Mystery Men, was a vampire in the Buffy series, and played the father of Batman villain The Penguin…

But it is as Pee-Wee Herman that Paul Reubens will best be remembered, and while not everyone’s cup of tea, it’s certain that he’s left many of us smiling….and just remember that if you hear the Secret Word, scream real loud! Adults hate it when you do that…

Categories: absurdities, alternative realities, Brilliant but twisted, humor, movies, television
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Comments: 9 Comments