Archive for April 27, 2009

Evil Blooms…

April 27, 2009

talking-flowers–Being a twisted piece of work, I like the idea of verbal, insulting flowers, and there hasn’t been vegetation this bad since the 1962 movie, Day of the Triffids or the musical, Little Shop of Horrors. If you wish to see nasty flowers of a more recent vintage, check out the recent Teleflora commercial featuring blooms delivered in a box which rear up out of the same to insult and offend the recipient! The flowers (some tulips) move their pedals convincingly as they speak in deep male voices.  (Nice flowers, apparently, come in tasteful vases, not boxes!)

The evil flowers were first featured in a Super Bowl XLIII commercial when they brilliantly taunted their office recipient like Hannibal Lecter vegetation, telling her that she should “…get home to her romance novels and her fat, smelly cat!” A final barb flung by a bloom was that “…no one wanted to see (her) naked!”

Tragically, the flowers are forced down a disposal in the most recent commercial…but if someone ever sent me such evil, talking blooms, I would nurture and cherish them forever! – – Imagine your house surrounded by a garden of insulting, sentient flowers…you’d never suffer unwelcome visitors again!

Feeling Bully In An Irish Grocery Store!

April 27, 2009

bull–In a role reversal, the product went shopping when a bull escaped from a pen in a livestock market and ran through a grocery store in Ireland, shocking customers. The farmer who owned the bull followed him into the store, and in a moment of poetic justice was briefly chased by the bull!

The bull made his way through the store before turning around and leaving from the front exit.  Fortunately, no customer came into the bull’s path or store shoppers could have been the ones turned into hamburger.  –Let it be a lesson to sapiens pathetica!