– -Just when you thought you were safe, it’s my duty to inform you that fish are growing to monstruous size, and attacking humans! Or so we are told by MonsterQuest on their episode, Gigantic Killer Fish 2.
Did you know that Florida’s goliath grouper population is exploding?–Run for your lives, RUN! — MonsterQuest takes us to Jupiter, Florida (not to be confused with Mars, Pennsylvania) where numerous attacks are reported. Goliath groupers can reach eight feet in length, live to age 35, and weigh up to 800 pounds, same as Aunt Thelma. One especially robust specimen was reported caught off the Gulf of Mexico in 1895 that weighed 1,500 lbs. Rumors exist of scuba tanks and other diving paraphenalia being found in the stomachs of these fish. MonsterQuest, however, could only come up with two 300 lb. specimens, and these hid discretely in an underwater cave, not being publicity hounds like Paris Hilton.
Now let’s talk Muskies in Minnesota, the record for which is five feet in length. Muskies have razor-sharp teeth, and MonsterQuest played (repeatedly, for your viewing pleasure) a video of some poor angler getting his wrist laid open by a muskie. There’s also a story told of an 11-year-old Minnesota boy who took 11 stitches due to an attack by a “monster muskie.” MonsterQuest also deployed a sonar equipped Remotely Operated Vehicle (or ROV, for short) costing a cool $125,000, and managed to catch an image of a five-foot fish. They almost lose the costly toy when generator power is lost.
So, you’ve got your apex predator fish, who hunt by ambushing their prey. As someone on the show commented, “When a fish wants to do something, it has no conscience.”– What could be more true?–And whatever happened to fish with wholesome family values?!
My tank of tropicals is looking at me strangely, and somehow I just don’t feel safe…
—Prince Charles, together with
–<sigh>–The daily grind…in a treadmill going nowhere, just like the legion of other hamsters spinning in their circular treadmills on the roadway…how futile…how meaningless…how very existential!
–It is perhaps bias that generally causes us to think that only mammalian species display intelligence and evidence of learned behavior. Certain invertebrates also display intelligence…
–Vancouver Island off the Canadian coast was visited by MonsterQuest during a recent episode in search of a large, ape-like cryptid 6′ – 9′ tall and weighing about 800 lbs., reported to be agile despite his size. The island can only be reached by water, but grizzlies can do this and primates likewise can learn to use water. This cryptid appears near water-rich areas, and appears to enjoy shellfish.
–Being a twisted piece of work, I like the idea of verbal, insulting flowers, and there hasn’t been vegetation this bad since the 1962 movie, Day of the Triffids or the musical, Little Shop of Horrors. If you wish to see nasty flowers of a more recent vintage, check out the recent Teleflora commercial 
–What caption could we put with this picture?–“That’s the last time I order the ‘Catch of the Day!?’“
–It has a large, somewhat mammalian head, clawed fins, and a trident-like tail…so they say of Florida’s sea monster, with sightings dating back to the 1800’s. There’s apparently more than one of these puppies, and they have the potential to move quickly with a lot of power. Hours of video footage exist by a guy named Sowerwine showing bits and pieces of the creature.
–It’s an old wives’ tale not to eat a peach pit or certain seeds, lest they grow into a tree inside you. –Well, a five-centimeter fir tree was reportedly found in the lung of a Russian man who complained that he had a strong pain in his chest and was coughing up blood. This is seldom good…
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