FOXSYLVANIA

  — I, for one, find the prospect of exploding reptiles both darkly amusing yet creepy and disturbing, one of those rare things that both captivates yet repels me at the same time.  You don’t really want to see such a thing yet if you did, you couldn’t bear to look away, either!  With that in mind, I offer the following true story to kindred spirits like myself who dearly love tales of the grotesquely fascinating.

A family member knew of people who bought a bearded dragon as a reptile pet.- -Well, it seems that one feeds crickets to bearded dragons.  Not knowing any better, the new owners of this pet fed their bearded dragon one cricket a day, and on this diet the reptile became listless and barely moved.  Making inquiry, it was discovered that the bearded dragon was supposed to receive three crickets per day rather than one!  Feeling guilty that they were starving their pet, the owners then proceeded to put a dozen crickets into the cage with the bearded dragon, who responded hungrily by eating all of the dozen crickets at a single time.  Some time later (and I swear I am not making this up), the lizard…exploded!

I don’t mean exploded as in parts of bearded dragon flew across the room, but exploded as in suffered a lethal gastrointestinal rupture.  One can only speculate as to whether the lizard died happy, although it certainly died full, to a fault.  Perhaps exploding reptiles might have strategic applications, say sent in to $50,000 a plate Mitt Romney fundraiser dinners, courtesy of the 47%…and those among us who are homo sapiens are warned by this tale against eating anything larger than their refrigerators!