FOXSYLVANIA

Well, I now know what to ask for this upcoming Christmas!. The Thermonator , a flame-throwing robotic dog offered by a Cleveland company, is back in stock for $9,420, which includes free delivery in the United States. It looks like something Skynet could have devised, a companion perhaps to a T-800…

The Robo-dog is eerily reminiscent of the relentless, robotic guard and sentry device featured in the Metalhead episode of Black Mirror. That creation, however, was a fully-autonomous artificial intelligence device equipped with a firearm, and capable of using improvised environmental weaponry. Thermonator is remotely controlled by an operator, and not considered a firearm, thus not federally-regulated. Flamethrowers are banned in Maryland, however, and require a permit in California…local regulations may also apply, so check before you buy…

A 30-foot flamethrower range is nothing to sneeze at, however, and the manufacturer cites applications of snow and ice removal, agriculture, ecological conservation, wildlife control (*shudders*), and special effects generation. I would also imagine that possession of one could deter religious and political solicitors, and door-to-door salesmen. No more hiding, and pretending that you aren’t home when unwanted relatives visit unannounced, either! – – Sic ‘em, Fido! 😸

Oh, brave new world that we live in! I’ll have to be on the lookout for these bad doggies, not wanting to become a crispy critter for someone using it for “wildlife control.” My life isn’t too wild, frankly…sad though it is to admit it. Downright boring, actually… 😿