The Charmin Bears in “Airport Security”

Someday, I am just going to lose it over the Charmin bears. The bears themselves aren’t really that bad, they’re actually kind of cute. It’s what they do that rankles my fur! These bears are always pooping, and then examining their behinds for evidence of toilet paper residue. I mean, this kinda thing is seriously cringe-worthy! Personal space, please!

Now we all know that bears defecate in the woods, and apparently elsewhere as well. Everybody poops, with the exception of some Disney animals like Bambi that are drawn without discernible anuses. I’ve often wondered if such animals simply explode when their colon backs up too far. Be that as it may, the Charmin bears would appear to have a weird and pervasive anal fixation that borders on the disgusting.

In their Airport Security ad, Papa Bear passes through security without a hitch because, of course, his hiney’s clean! I just love the “kill me now” expression on the agent’s face. And does the fact that the agent is wearing clothes and Papa none mean that this is some kind of strip search? If so, Papa seems to be enjoying it…

It should come as no surprise that Papa’s luggage is actually stuffed with toilet paper. The Charmin Bears are nothing if not consistent. It’s just that bare bear bottoms, clean or (shudder) otherwise, get old really fast. I much prefer fox tails… 🦊

Explore posts in the same categories: absurdities, advertising, animal spokepersons, anthropomorphic, commercials, furry, surrealism in life, television, twisted reality

8 Comments on “The Charmin Bears in “Airport Security””

  1. carycomic Says:

    Evidently, ursine airline passengers aren’t required to wear clothing. Just airport personnel. Talk about questionable double standards!

    Liked by 1 person

    • vulpesffb Says:

      Now Yogi Bear wears a hat and tie, and even Boo-Boo a bow tie. In one commercial, Brother Charmin Bear holds up clean underpants, even though he’s never shown wearing them in commercials. I struggle to understand
      the dynamics of ursine raiment… 🐻


      • carycomic Says:

        What about lagomorphic raiment? The old Warner Brothers and MGM cartoons of the Golden Age often get censored because of what are nowadays considered glorifications of unfair racist stereotypes. But, have you ever seen how many times Bugs Bunny reaches down into previously invisible pockets to get a stick of dynamite with which to blow up Elmer Fudd, Yosemite Sam, or Wile E. Coyote (“Super-Genius”)?!

        And, yet, nobody has once led any picket marches to protest the unlimited access cartoon characters seem to have to evidently unregistered ordnance.*

        *This has, of course, been a purely sarcastic denouncement.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. vulpesffb Says:

    Bugs Bunny is usually portrayed naked except for his white gloves or when he is in drag. There’s little to distinguish his gender, whereas Lola Bunny is distinctly female, and at least in her earlier “Space Jam” renditions was actually rather hawt. I guess when you’ve got a mind like Bugs, you don’t need to be an overly masculine rabbit to defeat any adversaries…and the ready access to munitions and explosives also helps, even if they seem to come out of no where!

    Liked by 1 person

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