The Gospel According to “Felix…”
Exploding Kittens on Netflix is a hoot, although not for those who prefer their religion unpilloried…
It seems that God is felt by a divine council to need to be rehabilitated, and so He is sent to Earth in the form of a talking cat, devoid of his most useful but not all powers. He is to help a human family who prayed for his assistance, all the while contending against a similar demonic cat sent to thwart him… 🙀
This is pretty wild stuff that plays like Sunday School on heavy psychoactive medication. God-Cat has not long arrived on Earth before He is corralled by an animal control officer, and sedated. He escapes confinement, and goes on as a strange mixture of deity, human, and feline, railing against his cat incarnation while gradually embracing it. He learns the ways of man, and has frequent epic but hilarious battles against the opposing Devil-Cat.
You might say that God becomes a better fur-son because of all this, but you’ll just have to watch Exploding Kittens to learn of all the enabling details… Meow! 😸
(Foxsylvania proudly endorses Harris-Walz in 2024!)
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FOXSYLVANIA 
October 1, 2024 at 10:55 pm
The last time I tried watching an animated God, he was voiced by James Garner (in a one-season wonder ten times worse than his spaghetti-Western “Sledge”).
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October 15, 2024 at 8:54 pm
Of course, in ancient Egypt, cats were worshipped as gods. So, in light of the promise I made you last year, here (just in time for Halloween) is…THE KHARIS CHRONOLOGY!*
*Inser theme song by “Weird Al” Yankovic (HEY-HEY! WE’RE THE MUMMIES). here.
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October 15, 2024 at 9:15 pm
We seem to be experiencing technical difficulties. Please stand by!
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October 15, 2024 at 9:34 pm
Or perhaps the Ennead are simply really big fans of The Monkees.
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October 16, 2024 at 1:31 am
1369 BC–Imhotep, high priest for Pharaoh Amenophis III, commits blasphemy for trying to use the Sacred Scroll of Thoth to bring the Princess Ananck-Su-Namun back to life.
1345 BC—Kharis, chief bodyguard for Princess Ananka (daughter of Pharaoh Akhenaten and half-sister of the future King Tut) tragically repeats history when he tries to cure the princess of a deadly and mysterious disease using a wonder drug derived from sacred tana leaves. Neither he nor the monotheistic monarch realizing that she was actually poisoned by the exiled priests of Amon-Ra! The latter subsequently stealing the mummified bodies of Kharis and the princess and secretly taking them to the Temple of the Seven Jackals.
1910 AD–Steve Banning and Babe Jenson (research assistants of Prof. Petrie from the Scripps Musuem of U-Mass, Mapleton) accompany him to Edwardian-era Egypt to search for that temple.
1912–occurrence of the events depicted in THE MUMMY’S HAND.
1915–Steve and Marta Banning (nee Sullivan) become the parents of John Banning. While Amina Mansori is born in Algiers, Louisiana.
1922–Sir Joseph Whemple of the British Museum leads an expedition to post-WWI Egypt where they accidentally unearth the Sacred Scroll of Thoth! Research assistant Ralph Norton discovering that fact the hard way.
1932: occurrence of the events depicted in the original version of THE MUMMY.
1940–John Banning achieves his own Ph. D. in archaeology at an impressively young age.
1942–occurrence of the events depicted in THE MUMMY’S TOMB.
1944–occurrence of the events depicted in THE MUMMY’S GHOST.
1945: Arkam, successor of Adehodeb as high priest of the Cult of Amon-Ra, uses astrology to determine that the reincarnated Princess Ananka did not drown in Hockomock Swamp, Massachusetts. Rather, she was somehow mystically teleported to a bayou near New Orleans! So, he sends his two disciples, Zadaab and Ragheb, southward (along with the mummy of Kharis) to safeguard that bayou against descrecration.
1954–Peter Patterson and Freddie Franklin, location scouts for a certain Hollywood studio, are sent to Egypt to look at places where a Foreign Legion spoof might be safely filmed far away from strife-torn French North Africa.
1955–occurrence of the events depicted in ABBOTT & COSTELLO MEET THE MUMMY.
1969–occurrence of the events depicted in THE MUMMY’S CURSE.
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October 16, 2024 at 1:30 pm
Second only to werewolves, reanimated mummies are my favorite supernatural characters! I regard them as superior to zombies because of their antiquity. Mummies are a class act… 👍
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October 18, 2024 at 4:27 pm
You might like Hammer Films PLAGUE OF THE ZOMBIES from 1966, though. It features a scene where some drunken aristocrats on horseback are deliberately misled (by a visiting doctor’s daughter from London) in their harassment of a Cornish fox!
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October 18, 2024 at 4:56 pm
Will look that up! Cornish foxes deserve respect… 🦊
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October 16, 2024 at 1:57 am
Historic facts: Pharoah Akhenaten’s reign proved so unpopular that, when polytheism was restored to 14th-century BC Egypt by his overthrow, the priests did to all written and inscribed records containing his name exactly what Edward Van Sloan’s “Dr. Muller” described with regard to the semi-fictionalized Imhotep played by Boris Karloff.
In 1942, Kharis the Mummy was played by Tom Tyler; a character actor/stunt man who more usually guest-starred in Westerns. In the two sequels that followed in 1944 (the last one set _25_ years in the future!), he was played by Lon Chaney, Jr. Furthermore, where TMT and TMG were set in fictional Mapleton, Massachusetts, TMC was, for some reason, set in Louisiana! So, I incorporated real-life Hockomock Swamp as the place where Amina/Ananka appeared to drown herself at the end of TMG. As that whole wetland is supposed to comprise a naturally-occurring teleportal to other dimensions (according to most current investigators of the paranormal), I decided those same alleged properties might explain Amina/Ananka rematerializing way down South.
Last, but not least? Though Abbott and Costello referred to themselves by their real names, in all the on-screen dialogue of A&CMTM, they were listed as “Pete Patterson” and “Freddie Franklin” in the end credits . And, given all the anti-colonial unrest in Morocco and Algeria, post-WWII, filming a Foreign Legion spoof on location in Egypt didn’t seem so far-fetched a plot device to explain away the title characters being financially stranded in Cairo in the mid-1950’s.
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October 16, 2024 at 1:24 pm
I love Mummy lore and cinema! But I’d never go so far as to consume “powdered mummy,” as was popular in Victorian times. Otherwise, I’m a “mummy’s boy…” 🙀
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October 16, 2024 at 1:50 pm
What’s an Egyptian mummy’s favorite Halloween candy?
Amon-Joy!
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October 17, 2024 at 12:00 am
OK! Being serious, again. Two years ago, I chronologized Michael Myers’ cinematic history. Last year, I did the same thing with regard to Universal Studios’ Top Three movie monsters (Frankenstein, Dracula, and Wolf Man). And, this year, I focused on vintage mummy flicks in order to (ahem!) wrap things up.* Thank you, Vulpes, for indulging me.
*Let the therapeutic head-banging commence. 😉
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October 17, 2024 at 2:03 am
It was educational! 🎓
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October 17, 2024 at 2:04 am
*groans like a mummy*
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