Chantix “Slow Turkey” Commercial…
It’s not easy being a turkey. Apparently, if a carnivore doesn’t get you, a nicotine addiction probably will. Is Elmer Fudd lurking in wait for our feathered friend, or a cancer specialist? Life is full of uncertainties. In light of his questionable destiny, the turkey in our Chantix commercial is keeping active in a variety of activities, and probably maintaining a positive mental attitude as well. This bird has a fuller life than I do…he gardens, reads, mows the lawn, and finds time to float in his pool. I envy him…I don’t have a freakin’ pool, so the wages of poultry must be pretty good. He even puts out a feeder for the birds…but wait, isn’t that what he is?! I’m so confused…then in order to minimize the number of strikes against him, the turkey is wisely trying to kick the cigarette habit with Chantix, a program which allows him to go “slow turkey” as opposed to cold turkey.
Unanswered is the question of whether unsuccessful quitters of his species are the source of smoked turkey; I’ve always wondered. Anyways, I’m glad that this Chantix user is no bird brain…
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FOXSYLVANIA 
January 22, 2019 at 2:35 pm
Other non-smokers obviously got him to quit by talking to him till he was blue in the face!*
*See, most turkey’s heads are wrinkled and red. Poetry not intended. 🙂
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January 23, 2019 at 8:57 pm
By the way: I recently read that a certain species of Asian palm civet is raised domestically so that it can be fed coffee beans. Aimed at a kind of “organically fermented” gourmet coffee! So does this mean that, if we feed coffee beans to capuchin monkeys, we get…?
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January 24, 2019 at 3:49 am
I’ve read about that, too. Fortunately, my tastes in coffee will never be that exotic!
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