Kitchen Samurai Defeats Bear!

– – When a Montana woman found a 200-pound black bear attacking her 12-year-old collie in her backyard early Thursday after midnight, she screamed to divert the bear’s attention from her dog.  The bear then charged the woman, taking a swipe at her with its paw and tearing her jeans (of course you know, this means war)!

Driven backwards, the woman then jumped back and grasped the nearest object on the kitchen counter inside the doorway.   Desperate times call for desperate measures, and so the woman grabbed one of the most loathed vegetables that the Creator in his wisdom ever put on the face of the earth…a zucchini!

Yes, and it was a big zucchini, too, a 12-incher harvested earlier from her garden!  Flinging the dreaded vegetable at the bear from a distance estimated at 3 feet (point blank range), the woman bopped the bruin on the top of his head, and he wisely fled!   Probably the bear feared that he might be forced to eat the horrid thing…that oughta teach him!

(…I don’t like zucchinis, but I do respect them!)

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4 Comments on “Kitchen Samurai Defeats Bear!”

  1. carycomic Says:

    Good thing she didn’t throw a jar of macadamian nuts at him. Just one of those things would probably choke even a bear to death!


    • vulpesffb Says:

      I’ll always remember the wonderful scene in one of the “Gremlins” movies where a housewife dispatches a good number of nasty invading gremlins using assorted kitchen appliances and implements at her disposal…microwaving one, garbage-disposing another, etc…truly an awesome reminder that the female of the species is not to be trifled with!


  2. carycomic Says:

    Btw: I was recently reminded of Bullwinkle’s birthplace; Moosylvania. I always laugh when I half-remember how Wm. Conrad–the “phantom” narrator– described its disputed in-story sovereignty.

    “Canada claimed it belonged to the United States. And, the U.S. claimed it belonged to Canada!”


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