“Renfield” a disappointment…

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18 Comments on ““Renfield” a disappointment…”

  1. carycomic's avatar carycomic Says:

    Cage did a pretty good job playing other kinds of supernaturals in THE SORCERER’S APPRENTICE, GHOST RIDER, and (my personal favorite) DRIVE ANGRY. He even made me chuckle when he made a cameo appearance in the “intermission previews” of Tarantino’s GRINDHOUSE as Fu Manchu! But, when it comes to playing one of the undead, he has sucked.* All the way back to the 1988 cult-classic VAMPIRE’S KISS!

    *Pun semi-intended.

    Liked by 1 person

    • vulpesffb's avatar vulpesffb Says:

      Cage has played almost everything, some things quite well! In “Renfield,” however, he chews on the scenery. There are some neat special effects, however, as when his Dracula dissolves into not one but a multitude of bats…

      Liked by 1 person

  2. carycomic's avatar carycomic Says:

    Hmmm! I seem to get longer-winded as the days get shorter. I wonder if there’s some correlation.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. carycomic's avatar carycomic Says:

    That being the case; remember how I posted my formerly annual chronology of the HALLOWEEN horror film franchise? Well, this year, I thought I’d do something a little different (and, perhaps, less uncomfortable to the majority of your loyal lurkers). My somewhat warped mind now brings you…

    THE UNIVERSAL MONSTER CHRONOLOGY!

    [Insert musical “Duhn-duhn-DUHN!” here.]

    1878: Dr. Heinrich Frankenstein, heir to the Barony of Frankenstein, becomes engaged to an Englishwoman named Elizabeth (who affectionately insists on calling him “Henry”).

    1880: While conducting radical experiments in electrochemistry, Heinrich discovers an energy frequency higher than the ultra-violet ray. Carried within lightning bolts, this energy turns out to have amazing life-giving properties! Prompting him and his hunchbacked servant, Fritz, to begin stealing human cadavers in order to piece together an artificial body that they can bring to life on their own.

    1881: Occurrence of the events depicted in the 1931 FRANKENSTEIN.

    1882: Occurrence of the events depicted in BRIDE OF FRANKENSTEIN.

    1883: Heinrich and Elizabeth become the parents of fraternal twin sons: Wolf and Ludwig.

    1898: Sir John Talbot becomes the father of identical twins (John, Jr. and Lawrence).

    1904: Wolf and Ludwig Frankenstein emigrate. The former; to attend college in America. The latter; to do likewise in the neighboring province of Visaria.

    1909: Ludwig marries first. Taking, as his wife, the daughter of the burgomeister of Visaria’s namesake capital.

    1910: Ludwig’s daughter Elsa is born. Meanwhile, in America, her Uncle Wolf achieves his doctorate.

    1913: Her father finally achieves his own doctorate.
    1914: World War I breaks out. With Ludwig serving in the German army as a medical officer.

    1918: Wolf Frankenstein becomes an American citizen by marriage.

    1919: His son Peter is born. Meanwhile, Larry Talbot begins attending college in America.

    1920: Ludwig Frankenstein returns to Visaria, where he founds a psychiatric hospital to aid emotionally disturbed German veterans of the war.

    1921: Baroness Elizabeth Von Frankenstein dies of old age. Shortly afterward, an immigrant shepherd named Ygor is caught trying to rob her grave! He was secretly hired to do so by Dr. Gustave Niemann (the local physician’s new assistant). He is therefore lynched and officially pronounced dead. But, in reality, he was merely put into a drug-induced coma by Niemann! Thereby insuring Ygor’s revival, later on, in the mortuary (from which he easily escapes into the surrounding countryside). It’s while hiding out in a certain cave, near the ruins of Baron Heinrich’s old laboratory, that he finds the comatose body of the Frankenstein Monster.

    1922: The eldery Baron Heinrich is now so invalid and despondent that he requires a full-time caretaker. So, Dr. Niemann engineers the hiring of his own brother for that position. In this manner, the absent-minded baron is manipulated into revealing some of his old scientific secrets…which his caretaker swiftly relays to Niemann.

    1923: Baron Heinrich dies of old age. Prompting the notification-by-telegram of his son Wolf (the first-born twin).

    1924: Occurrence of the events depicted in SON OF FRANKENSTEIN.

    1925: Occurrence of the events depicted in GHOST OF FRANKENSTEIN.

    1927: John Talbot Junior meets—and subsequently falls in love with–Countess Marya Zeleska of Transylvania. Meanwhile, her biological father begins a series of correspondences with various overseas realtors. Eventually settling on two prospective residences he can emigrate to; one on the Texan/Mexican border in North America; the other in England.

    1928: While helping to custom-make telescopic lenses for a certain observatory, in California, Larry Talbot learns about the untimely death of his twin brother. Not knowing, of course, that John, Jr. was secretly vampirized by that love-lorn dhampir…Countess Marya!

    1929: Occurrence of the events depicted in THE WOLF MAN.

    1930: The difficulty of keeping pet armadillos convinces Marya’s father to emigrate to England.

    1931: Occurrence of the events depicted in the original DRACULA.

    1932: The local police of Frankenstein catch Dr. Niemann in the act of conducting illegal experiments in trans-specific brain transplantation. Experiments that had secretly been funded by the pro-Nazi Thule Society! He is subsequently arrested, tried, and sentenced to life-without-parole in Neustadt Prison.

    1933: Occurrence of the events depicted in FRANKENSTEIN VS. THE WOLF MAN. (Note: it is during this period that the Nazi Party takes power in Germany).

    1935: Occurrence of the events depicted in DRACULA’S DAUGHTER.

    1936: While attending one of the night-time events, at the Summer Olympics in Berlin, John Talbot, Junior, meets a vacationing American Southern belle named Katherine Caldwell. The latter–an overzealous student of the occult (from her late mother’s former membership in the Spiritualist Church of America)–soon recognizes “Count Alucard” for who and what he really is.

    1937: After a year-long courtship, Katherine and “Alucard” get married. He, in order to get American citizenship; and she, in order to obtain vampiric immortality for herself and her true love, Frank Stanley.

    1938: Occurrence of the events depicted in SON OF DRACULA.

    1939: The Nazis invade Poland, thereby starting WWII.
    (Note: it is for this reason that Katherine Caldwell could not have been vacationing in Europe circa 1943!)

    1945: The Allies win World War II.
    1946: Occurrence of the events depicted in HOUSE OF FRANKENSTEIN.

    (Note: there are many theories as to why Ilonka the Gypsy girl’s silver bullet failed to kill the revivified Larry Talbot. One theory postulates that it was made from something that had merely been silver-plated. Another postulates that a greater part of her still wanted him to live. Hence, her heart wasn’t completely set on putting him out of his misery. The harshest theory of all, though, is that what she felt for Larry wasn’t really true love. Rather; just glorified infatuation!)

    1947: Geneticist Dr. Sandra Moreau–grandniece of the infamous French vivisectionist–assumes the surname of “Mornay” in order to flee Europe (where she is wanted as a Nazi-collaborating war criminal). Along the way, she meets a Romanian refugee named Dr. Lajos…who turns out to be a reanimated Dracula! Larry Talbot discovers this while bounty-hunting the woman, on behalf of Interpol, and has an epiphany. Perhaps _this_ is why Ilonka’s silver bullet failed to kill him!

    1948: Occurrence of the events depicted in ABBOTT & COSTELLO MEET FRANKENSTEIN.

    Liked by 1 person

    • carycomic's avatar carycomic Says:

      Maybe, next year, I’ll do an unofficial chronology of all the b/w mummy films from Universal Studios. If I had tried to include them this year, I’d have gotten _too_ wrapped up in my work!

      Liked by 1 person

      • vulpesffb's avatar vulpesffb Says:

        Next year’s installment to be called, “Here Come the Mummies,” or perhaps, “Mummy Dearest?” 😁

        Liked by 1 person

        • carycomic's avatar carycomic Says:

          GOOD ONE! 🙂

          Like

          • carycomic's avatar carycomic Says:

            P.S.—is anyone else besides me slowly tapering off from 31 days of horror flicks? What might be called “hair of the werewolf that bit you”?

            Liked by 1 person

            • vulpesffb's avatar vulpesffb Says:

              Horror is a 365 day event each year for me. Werewolves in particular are always welcome in my den. They’re not just for Halloween anymore, just like orange juice isn’t only for breakfast. My werewolf visitors prefer to quaff screwdrivers over plain OJ, however. Actually, their real preference is for…Bloody Mary’s! 🐺

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  4. carycomic's avatar carycomic Says:

    LOL! Reminds me of that old joke. “What do you call a mmixure of OJ, vodka, and milk-of-magnesia? A Phillips screwdriver!”

    Liked by 1 person

  5. carycomic's avatar carycomic Says:

    “Mmixure”?! Sigh! Never pays to alugh at one’s own jokes while typing. 😦

    Liked by 1 person


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