FOXSYLVANIA

Progressive’s “Flo” gets around, and she’s utterly fearless, being not quite the same as you or I…and so, we shouldn’t be surprised to see Flo in a recent commercial having an intimate and revealing conversation with the legendary Bigfoot in the woods, the two of them seated informally on an accommodating log…Flo wearing her trademark spotless white uniform and high-top sneakers, and Bigfoot his shaggy fur, idly holding a stick.

It turns out that Bigfoot is feeling a mite neglected these days. People used to come out to the woods just to take a blurry photo of him, after all. We are shown the legendary cryptid posing, kind of like a backroad tourist attraction. Now, however, people visiting the woods are more concerned with showing off their RV’s and off-road vehicles. Flo, ever insurance-minded, takes the occasion to tell Bigfoot and the viewers that Progressive can save people money by bundling their home and off-road vehicle insurance, adding to her primary listener that “People have other things to do now, Bigfoot.” Wounded by this reference and regarding his foot, Bigfoot informs Flo that his name is Darryl. — Yes, Bigfoot has a name, and I think it’s time that we all started using it out of proper respect! This is a sensitive cryptid, after all…”Hath not a Bigfoot eyes?,” to paraphrase Shakespeare.

In an extended version of the commercial, Darryl tells us that he’ll now have time to work on his screenplay. Asking Flo if she wants to read it, she responds that she’s been “pretty busy.” “Fair enough,” sighs Darryl, adjusting to his changed reality as must we all…

This entry was posted on March 28, 2020 at 1:22 pm and is filed under furry. You can subscribe via RSS 2.0 feed to this post's comments. You can comment below, or link to this permanent URL from your own site.