FOXSYLVANIA

 – – I, for one, hate it when Claymation figures go bad…and so it was when a person dressed as Gumby walked into a 7-Eleven store in Southern California over Labor Day dressed as Gumby, claimed to have a gun, and demanded money!  I swear I am not making this up…I couldn’t write stuff this good!

Since Gumby tends to be slightly less than intimidating (while the Eddie Murphy version is clearly not to be trifled with), the store clerk treated the surreal customer as a lame joke, and essentially ignored him, telling Gumby that she didn’t have time to waste (No one really has time for Gumby these days, which might be at the root of the problem)! Disrespect from a convenience store clerk seemed to drive Gumby to extremes, causing him to counter, “You don’t think this is a robbery?  I have a gun!”  At that point the clay avenger fumbled inside his costume as if looking for a weapon, but alas his green gloves seemed to get in the way.  Instead of pulling out a gun, Gumby only dropped 27 cents on the floor, which won’t buy you much of anything these days.  Gumby’s apparent sidekick who had entered with the green dude then left the store, reappearing with a minivan which retrieved Gumby and departed…

…the clerk was unfamiliar with the Claymation icon, describing him to her boss as a “green SpongeBob SquarePants.”  Clearly, a major re-education program is necessary so that our young people can distinguish Gumby from SpongeBob.- -Pokey the horse would have been so mortified on all counts!  The police line-up for this one should be very interesting, and a $1,000 reward is being offered for the apprehension of the suspect!

And what lies ahead for our benighted society?- -Drive-by shootings by the Banana Splits characters?- -The Trix Rabbit going postal?  Some things are better left unconsidered…

This entry was posted on September 9, 2011 at 12:57 am and is filed under absurdities, cartoons, strange happenings. You can subscribe via RSS 2.0 feed to this post's comments.

Tags: Gumby attempts heist, Gumby goes bad